The Best Marriage Advice For Those Looking To Keep Love Strong

Most people likely want a fairytale marriage. They may want to find the love of their lives, get married, and then live happily ever after until the end of time. However, that's not always the case for many. Divorces can happen, and couples can grow apart with time. What was once a thriving marriage can begin to feel flat or dull. The truth may be that no one has an entirely perfect marriage, but there can be ways to keep it going strong for as long as possible. Here are some of the best pieces of advice to keep a marriage going as strong as it can for a long time and how to stay in love as you and your partner go through life together.

The best marriage advice for those looking to keep love strong

This may sound like common sense, but it can sometimes be easier said than done. Some people might get married not because of love, but because they're bored with life, feel obligated to do so, or aren’t sure what other next steps to take in life. Maybe there's family pressure to get married and have kids. Maybe they live in a small town and think that they won't get anyone else. Perhaps they're not sure what they’d like in an ideal spouse in the first place.

While rushing into marriage can feel like the best move in some cases, in doing so, you may just be setting yourself up for an unhappy marriage. Don't be afraid of living a single life until you find that person who feels right for you. 

Marry your best friend

If your spouse wasn't in a romantic relationship with you, do you think you'd still be friends? You’ll likely want to be with someone who is like a friend, someone with who you can have fun and explore the world with, or just someone who likes spending time with you. This may be one of the best pieces of marriage advice. If you marry someone entirely different from you, you may have a hard time remaining compatible in the long term. Likewise, if you have a hard time getting along or butt heads over things like hobbies, lifestyles, etc., it may lead to a higher amount of conflict in your marriage.

Realize you're probably going to argue

Whenever people think of a perfect marriage, they may imagine one where there is no arguing. The couple is all sunshine, all smiles, and never has a bad day.

But this isn't necessarily the reality. No matter how much you love your partner and no matter how much you think you'll never argue with your partner, you're likely going to have disagreements. In fact, disagreements can be healthy in a marriage; they give partners a chance to express their feelings, work through conflict, and find solutions that work for everyone. This can help keep resentment, which can be a killer in a marriage, at bay.

While you likely shouldn't be arguing 24/7, arguing every once in a while can be common. But by working it out, you can build trust with your partner, forming an even deeper bond than the one you had before.

Don't have kids to save your marriage

Having children can be a common part of many marriages, but they're not for everyone. Even if marriage and family are important to you, it can be beneficial to keep in mind that it may put a strain on your relationship. Raising children can be life changing. Some couples have children because they think the child will keep the them together, but this is not necessarily the best advice. Having a child can put even more stress on the marriage, and it may only make things worse or create new concerns. 

Express your emotions

One of the reasons why many arguments stem in the first place is due to a lack of communication. Some arguments can be healthy, even in a strong marriage, but arguing frequently may be a sign that things are not great. While it may seem like the best way to avoid more conflict, holding onto negative emotions can take its toll on you and the marriage.

If you have to get something off your chest, it’s likely best to find a healthy way to express it, whether that be having a conversation, writing a note, or whatever else makes sense for you. Healthy communication can be a vital part of a healthy marital relationship and may be one of the best habits of intimate couples. Speaking and listening with mutual respect, knowing the other’s love language, and working together to solve problems can help keep your marriage strong.

Work out together

One of the best pieces of marriage advice may surprisingly be to exercise together. Working out can be a great way to relieve stress, and having your partner with you can help to strengthen your bond. It can likewise be a healthy way to spend quality time together. 

Do chores together

Whether you're doing the laundry, watching the dishes, or vacuuming, doing it with your partner can increase the bond you have with them, and it may also be good way to quicken the workload. Having clear and balanced expectations surrounding housework and other chores can also help you avoid unnecessary conflict, all while keeping you and your partner as close as can be.

Don't change for your partner

While it can be okay to compromise on some things and adapt to fit your partner’s needs, it’s not necessarily true that you should have to change who you are to keep your marriage alive. You likely shouldn’t, for instance, have to give up a hobby you love for your spouse or change something fundamental about who you are.

This can apply to imperfections as well. You and your partner probably have bad habits that drive one another crazy, but it may be true that you aren't going ever to fix them entirely. Instead, you might need to learn to tolerate and accept one another for your flaws.

Overall, you likely want a marriage where you'll be yourself, at least if you’d like it to stand the test of time. Put your marriage first by being your authentic self.

Financial concerns

One of the main reasons why many marriages fail may be because of money. You and your partner can benefit from having good communication when it comes to money, including financial boundaries and goals. Being on the same page about such significant topics like these can help safeguard your marriage. Keeping secrets or lying about finances can almost certainly put the marriage on hold.

Devote free time together

Another reason once happy couples may not work out could be that they don't see each other enough. You don't have to spend time together 24/7, but if you don't have at least a day a week to spend some time with your spouse, you may begin to grow apart. Having regular dates nights can keep you connected, and knowing how to date your spouse might involve some trial and error to learn what works best for you.

Cuddle more

Being intimate with your partner does not mean you have to have sex constantly or even at all. Sometimes, intimacy can be found even in the simplest of things, like holding hands or cuddling up to each other. Whether intimacy means watching a movie, taking a bath together, spooning while you're trying to fall asleep, or anything else, keeping it alive can be an easy way to keep your bond going. 

Don't be afraid of a counselor

When you think of a couple in marriage counseling, you may imagine a failing couple relying on someone else to keep the marriage alive. This is not necessarily the case, though. It can be perfectly okay to seek a counselor or a licensed marriage and family therapist at any point in a relationship. 

Relationship advice from a licensed mental health professional may be able to help you solve problems in the present and learn healthy relationships skills for a successful marriage. When you choose options like online therapy, you can connect professional support and advice right from the comfort of your own home.

Whether you choose to pursue individual therapy or couples therapy, it’s likely that you can find some benefit in getting some outside perspective on how to keep your marriage strong. In fact, research suggests that most people who engage in therapy do just that; one study even demonstrated that 95% of couples who engage in online couples counseling find it to be "helpful.” Regardless of what your marriage’s health currently looks like, you can find new ways to boost and sustain a healthy bond now and in the future.

Takeaway

Your marriage can be filled with mistakes and arguments just like any other relationship. However, following this advice and putting in the work can make the marriage last a lifetime. What may be most important is that you and your partner love each other enough to dedicate effort to keeping the bond alive, which can go a long way.