Why Are Men Not Marrying These Days?
If you’ve been on the hunt for a committed male partner – or more commitment from your current male partner – you may have asked yourself, “Why are men not getting married these days?”
For better or worse, you’re not alone. Men aren’t getting married as frequently as they used to, and neither are women.
In fact, only around fifty percent of marriage-aged men are married.
For the rest of this article, we’ll discuss some of the varied and complex reasons why men might not be getting married as often these days, and why the ones who are getting married are waiting longer to do so.
Why are men not marrying these days?
Socioeconomics
Most people might want a certain level of stability when they get married, especially for their future kids or children. However, many young adults may be having a hard time finding their footing.
Standards may have gone up
While the marriage rate is declining, so is the divorce rate. Fewer people are getting married, but those marriages may be of higher quality. The divorce rate has especially gone down among young people.
However, divorce rates continue to rise among older people. These numbers of divorce may be due to cultural factors, such as people feeling pressured for religious or societal reasons to get married even if it isn’t a good match. Young people may have learned from the mistakes of previous generations and might now be choosing to wait to get married, date around more before getting married, and only marry someone when they are certain that it is a good match.
Changing attitudes toward marriage
Marriage, as discussed, is an action that many are electing to forego. Does that mean that they aren’t signing up for committed relationships? Not necessarily.
Cohabitation
As the marriage rates decline, cohabitation rates are going up. Cohabitation, of course, is defined as living with a partner without being married.
Cohabitation may give people the chance to try out living together to see if it works before they commit to marriage, or perhaps people live together and decide that is enough and they don’t want to go the marriage or divorce route at all.
Tips for finding a potential life partner
Focus on yourself
With all the statistics cited above, it seems like waiting to get married leads to happier marriages. In fact, 46% of divorced couples cite their reason for divorcing is that they “married too young.” Take those statistics into account, and take your time.
It doesn’t mean that you should stop looking for a guy or stop dating. Instead, follow the trends by putting them on a back burner and focusing on things like your education, your career, and overall well-being.
Search in your religious community
Perhaps marriage is very important to you for religious reasons. If that’s the case, you may want to look for a partner within your religious community.
To be clear, most religions don’t necessarily emphasize marrying young. However, having similar religious beliefs can bode well for your marriage and you may find people who see marriage similarly to you.
Get to know your partner
While there are some systemic reasons fewer men are choosing to get married, it might be that your current partner is putting it off out of good old-fashioned fear of commitment.
Ask your partner about his views on marriage. Fear of commitment is a common insecurity, and if you want to get past it, your partner will have to confront it. As his partner, you can help him do this without pressuring him into something he isn’t ready for.
When you understand his ideas about marriage, you might also be able to use that information to help him solve the problems that might be holding him back. Note that this can take time, and if you and your partner are looking for completely different things then it might not be a good match, potentially ending in divorce.
Move on
Ask yourself why you want to marry this person. If you’re ready for a commitment and you’re not sure that your partner ever will be, it might be time for you to consider finding a partner who you can see eye-to-eye with.
Maybe you would be happier with a guy who’s already prepared to commit and, even if the two of you haven’t talked about it this way, your partner might be happier with someone looking for something more casual.
If you feel like you’re at a stage in your life where you should be looking at marriage, leaving your current relationship might seem like a step back. However, if the relationship that you’re in now is never going to go any further than it already has, looking for a relationship that has more potential might be your best move.
Talk to a relationship counselor
Most people might think about relationship counselors when their relationship is having problems. However, relationship counselors can help if your relationship isn’t having problems or even if you aren’t in a relationship right now.
If you are in a relationship, talking to a relationship counselor with your partner can help you better communicate with one another. As mentioned above, it’s not always a sprint from identifying the problem to saying, “I do.” However, it can start things moving in the right direction.
If you’re in a relationship, you can talk to a relationship counselor even if your partner isn’t involved.
Finally, if you aren’t currently in a relationship, you can still work with a relationship counselor who can help you understand what you want from a relationship and how to find fulfillment in romance.
Finding a therapist online
A potential solution to relationship issues could be online relationship counseling. In this format, you – and your partner if desired – “meet” with a qualified and licensed relationship counselor via the internet. Depending on your preferences, you can conduct your communications in chatroom-like forums or with video calling. You can even text your relationship counselor if you have problems between scheduled sessions.
To learn more about how relationship counseling can help you, visit Regain today.
Takeaway
Maybe men just aren’t marrying as often or as young as they used to. However, that doesn’t mean that you must live your life outside of a committed relationship. Plus, with marriage, sometimes it’s best to prioritize quality over quantity!
Frequently asked questions (FAQ)
Do single women want to get married more than single men?
Every person is different. Maybe single women today do not make marriage as much of a priority as it was in the past. In the 1950s, married people in America were typically younger and they typically stayed together as a higher rate. The divorce rate was lower, as it could be taboo to seek a divorce from your partner, especially for women. It was also difficult for women to leave their husbands, as many women could not get credit cards, find jobs, open a bank account for their money, or buy property without a husband. Now that women have more rights, they may feel more empowered to leave relationships that are not working.
Nowadays, single men and single women might not necessarily feel the need to marry young. Both men and women alike in the modern world often feel more compelled to focus on their education, career, earning money, finding financial stability, and enjoying a few years of independence before marriage.
Why are men marrying at an older age?
Since more of a priority has been on being educated and self-sufficient, more single women and single men may marry later in life. Men and women today might not be as inclined to get married right out of high school.
Additionally, since society expects fathers to be the primary providers for the family, most men are eager and focused on achieving their goals, such as prioritizing education, establishing careers, earning money, building self-confidence, and wanting to be mature, settled, financially stable, and prepared as one party before entering married life.
Does the pool of available single people shrink as you age?
Single men and single women are plentiful in society. There is no right or wrong time to get married, and you can find love later in life if that is what you are looking for.
Why are men not marrying these days?
There are many factors why young men and women are not marrying these days. First is the economic concern. The idea of cost of living when building a family, such as child support, the social norms or societal expectations that fathers, to be a good husband, must be the primary provider of the family, and the type of career they are pursuing, often involves sacrifice. These thoughts can make men and women feel less financially unprepared to enter marriage.
There are so many men and women who fear divorce. The thought of having to pay child support or spousal support after the divorce adds to their concerns. Many men and women view marriage as risky, so they would rather choose to live independently for their freedom over married life.
In addition, they are looking for a person who shares the same goals and values and whom they consider the ‘right’ partner. Another reason is that some individuals value long-term relationships, prioritizing growth and compatibility, rather than the lifetime commitment of marriage.
How do I know whether I should propose to my partner?
Aside from the unending love that you feel toward your partner, there are also many signs to know that you are now ready to propose marriage. Here are some of the signs:
You make future and bigger plans with your partner in mind.
You respect each other mutually especially when it comes to personal matters secret.
You feel very comfortable when you are with them.
You have built a strong relationship.
Marriage doesn’t feel scary.
You can imagine your wedding in mind.
You trust each other.
You are ready to have kids or children
You share similar values.
You support each other.
You are financially stable and earning enough money to support your future family.
You realized that you found the one.
You are eager to sacrifice your independence
When planning to get married, getting a marriage license is an important step. You may also consider consulting with marriage counselors in the first place to help you address relationship issues, discuss the expectations for married life, discuss topics like intimacy as a husband and wife, tax benefits of marriage, how to avoid divorce, finances, raising children or kids together, and provide guidance for healthy and happy marriage along the line. Additionally, if either partner is pregnant, counseling can offer support and preparation for the challenges ahead and prevent it from becoming worse.
Why am I so hesitant to get married?
Getting married is stressful and complicated, so it is normal to feel some hesitation. Here are some of the reasons you might have anxiety about getting married:
You don’t know the expectations of getting married
You have a relationship anxiety and are concerned about making bad choices
You view marriage as a lifelong real commitment, which is overwhelming
You haven’t found the one
You are not ready to have children or kids
You are not financially stable and you fear putting more responsibilities such as child support, saving for the future and managing more money
Divorced men or women might feel hesitant to get married again because of past experiences
You feel that are not ready and want to remain unmarried or stay single to enjoy independence
If you think you can’t overcome this feeling by yourself, consulting with a marriage counselor might help you address your anxiety of getting married.
Where can I meet potential romantic partners?
Many men and women consider using dating apps for soulmate searching. Although this modern type of approach is fun and effective for some, it can sometimes feel overwhelming, scary, and worse for others, especially most women, when it comes to safety. Although there are many successful love stories from online dating, that’s not the only option you have. Many people have realized that there are many ways and places where you can find friends or a person to be in a relationship with.
Volunteering your time for a cause is a great way to find nice guys or women who share the same values. Don’t volunteer just because you desire to meet men and women. Volunteer because you desire to help an organization and you want to create a broader network of friends. By doing so, you are not only helping the community but it can also benefit your love life and opening an opportunity to meet husband or wife material.
Your workplace is also a common place to find romance, and often leads to marriage.
You might also meet a romantic partner somewhere unexpected. They say that you will find love when you least expect it. Although this might sound cliché, this is somehow true to others. Focus on loving yourself first and building confidence so you can attract people.
Why are men not marrying these days?
Are men happier if they never get married?
Can a man live happily without marriage?
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