I Hate Being A Mom: Mental Health And Child-Related Challenges
Do you ever feel overwhelmed by being a parent? At one point or another, many parents might. Parenting can be a rewarding experience, even if it might feel overwhelming right now. Acknowledging the feeling, therapy and honest communication can all be ways to help you enjoy a more positive parenting experience.
Read on to learn more about what could cause the feeling of frustration in parenting, and different supportive strategies you can try to enhance your overall experience.
What to consider when you feel overwhelmed by parenthood
Acknowledging parental frustration with a child
There are days when a parent might think, I hate being a mom. This does not mean, however, that they hate their children or the process of parenting. They might feel frustrated that they do not have more support, or be overwhelmed with how their child is acting that day.
Acknowledging these feelings rather than assigning a judgement on them can be a helpful way to move past them into a more healthful space and attitude.
Dealing with guilt and finding hope
If you are experiencing guilt for feeling the way that you do; you might consider taking the time to understand that you’re not alone in feeling this way. Generally, these challenges will not last forever. Your baby can eventually sleep through the night, and so might you. Seasons of difficulty may give way to seasons of peace and joy as you lean into your child’s next stage of development.
What are some reasons that you may say, “I hate being a mom”?
Here are some of the most common reasons why you may feel overwhelmed in parenthood:
You feel like you have to be perfect at it
If you feel that you need to be the perfect parent, you might begin to feel hopeless or frustrated at the perceived lack of progress to a near impossible goal. Generally, no parent is truly “perfect.” Many parents work to do the best they can for their children in any given situation — socially, financially and otherwise.
Acknowledging the inability to be perfect does not mean that you’re not doing a good job, though. Simply doing your best and making an effort can be supportive to both you and your child(ren).
You feel exhausted all the time
Having children can be completely exhausting. No one generally can prepare you for how tired you will be after having a baby. If you’re in a season of exhaustion, you might consider reaching out for additional help and support as you work to navigate the stage. Experts recommend that you sleep when the baby sleeps so that you don’t become too fatigued. Naps can also help to ward off feelings of nervousness and depression in some cases. Working with your doctor to create a supportive plan and network of “teammates” to help you through the sleepless nights can give you a healthier and rewarding experience.
You may have underlying mental health conditions
If you often cry, experience feelings of hopelessness or generally lack the motivation to do everyday tasks, you may be experiencing symptoms related to postpartum anxiety disorder (PPA) or postpartum depression (PPD) Seeking help from a professional, such as a physician or a psychiatrist, can help connect you to the tools you need to walk through this season successfully.
There are many possible contributing factors you may be encountering that can be exacerbating these conditions. For example: After having a baby, your body generally goes through significant changes. Your hormone levels might be different than they were before your pregnancy and while you were pregnant. This dramatic fluctuation can make you feel sad or mad and may contribute to conditions such as those mentioned above. Early intervention can play a helpful role in your recovery and may help you to enjoy parenthood all the more.
We do want to note: All partners of any sex, gender or orientation might experience postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety disorder. Therapy can be equally effective in supporting all affected members of the family.
You generally don’t like asking for help
It’s not generally uncommon that parents, or people in general, have difficulty asking for help.
When people offer to help, it’s okay to say yes. Some people might refuse help from family and friends because they want to prove to others that they can handle raising their babies independently.
Whether people offer to make you a meal or stop by the house so that you can rest or shower, saying yes does not make you inadequate. Your friends and family may genuinely want to help you, especially if they have children of their own and know what you are going through. You might consider letting them come and get some time with your baby while you attend to your needs for a little while — which can allow yourself to be in a better, more calm space when your child needs you later.
It can be helpful to remember that it can be difficult to take care of others if you do not take care of yourself. Parents are people, and people might often need support.
How online therapy helps those experiencing difficulty parenting
If you’re feeling overwhelmed when you consider the idea of parenting, you may not feel that you’re able to seek in-person therapeutic support. It can be a lot of work to get the children out of the house, especially when you already don’t feel that you’re at your most confident.
The accessibility of online therapy
Online therapy can be a helpful alternative that offers comparable benefits in a more accessible way to many. You can connect with your therapist through in-app messages at any time through your smart devices or home.
Online therapy for mental health and parenting difficulties
With this option available, you may be wondering: Is online therapy effective for parenting difficulties?
Effectiveness of online therapy
In the wake of COVID-19, many researchers have turned their attention to studying the beneficial effects of telehealth across a variety of mental health conditions. PPD and PPA occurrences and experiences were a part of this body of research and were carefully evaluated by researchers in a flagship study from the Journal of Medical Internet Research: Mental Health and UHealth.
It was noted that online therapy is extremely effective in supporting those living with nervousness and depressive episodes related to the condition(s),
Takeaway
If you’re experiencing difficult feelings about parenting, you aren’t alone. It can be a difficult (but extremely rewarding) process to undertake. Acknowledging the feelings and identifying the root cause can be helpful steps forward as you work to build your confidence. Online therapy can be a helpful option for parents who know that they need support but don’t know how they’ll find the time or resources. Regain can connect you with a licensed therapist in your area of need.
What is the hardest part of being a new mom?
Becoming a mother brings massive change to a woman’s life, and adjustment is typically the most difficult part of being a new mom. Although everyone’s journey is different, many moms may share the same feelings. Being a new mom is like having a new job; there are bound to be rough times during the adjustment period. Although there are plenty of ways to prepare yourself for becoming a mom, many women may feel as though they are underprepared for the challenges of parenthood. This may be due to the fact that someone else’s well-being is now a higher priority than many other things that may have been important in the past. Or, it may be due to their prior experiences with their own families. Others might struggle with daily life changes, like waking up for feedings and having to sleep train their baby. Other moms may also find themselves struggling because of the societal expectations that come with motherhood. It’s important to remember that these emotions are perfectly normal and don’t make you a bad mom or a bad person.
What makes a good parent for your child?
Everyone wants to be the best parents in the world, but the definition of a “good parent” can be subjective. However, it usually may be determined by the level of kindness, support, and love they offer their child. Generally, in a healthy parent-child relationship, parents provide their children with a solid sense of love, belonging, and comfort like they’re supposed to. There’s no such thing as a perfect mom or dad, and you’re bound to make a mistake or two along the way, but trying to be a good role model, making sure your kids are healthy, and giving them the emotional support they need in life are steps in the right direction.
How do I get help if I hate being a mom?
It’s perfectly normal to hate being a mother from time to time. You might even feel like becoming a mother was a mistake. That said, consider seeking therapy if the feeling persists or you’re having intrusive thoughts. You might be feeling this way due to a mental illness like postpartum depression. A therapist can listen to your concerns and offer treatment and guidance.
You might also be experiencing mom burnout, which can occur when you do all the work raising your kids without a support system. Talk to your husband or partner and explain how you feel. If you are a single mom, surround yourself with a supportive community. Most parents feel guilty about asking for help, but the additional support may be beneficial to your mental health. Open communication and ongoing therapeutic support can help new moms and parents adjust in a supported and healthy way.
Why do I not enjoy being a mother?
There are several reasons why you might not be enjoying motherhood, including a lack of support, having less time for your hobbies and interests, and the fear that you might lose your identity as a human being as your family grows. These are normal concerns shared by many women. It can be hard for women to prioritize themselves once they become mothers. Many even feel guilt or regret when they do something for themselves.
Motherhood is a full-time job, but it’s important to take breaks and take care of yourself, too, especially if you’re a stay-at-home mom. Take a lunch break and treat yourself to a nice meal. Enjoy a luxurious bubble bath after a long day. Take a few hours and spend time with your best friend. Doing fun things for yourself can be good for your mental health and overall well-being.
Why am I so unhappy as a mom?
Being a new mom is stressful. Almost every mother in the world will tell you so. There are so many things you need to do each day: change diapers, sleep train your baby, soothe them when you hear them cry, wake up in the middle of the night for feedings, wait until they sleep before you can finally rest, and the list goes on. It’s impossible to be a happy mom all the time, especially when you’re exhausted and lack sleep. Having a good support system can help take a load off your shoulders so you can take care of yourself, too. Talk to your partner and loved ones about your needs. You can also consider talking to a therapist who specializes in helping new moms adjust.
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