Why Is Attachment Parenting Good (Or Bad)?
What style of parenting do you use with your children? Many believe attachment parenting, which focuses on developing a strong connection between a parent and child, is a great parenting style, while others do not. However, research has shown that attachment parenting can be beneficial and risky to both parents and children. So, what are the pros and cons of attachment parenting, if any, and how might they affect you and your family? Let’s take a deeper dive into what this parenting style may entail, how it can affect a child’s well-being, and whether it might be a good option for you.
What is attachment parenting?
This type of parenting is typically intended to improve the relationship between a parent and their child. While a parent-child bond can be natural and occur independently, this type of parenting seeks to foster an even more intense bond. This can be done through a series of steps that, for some parents, may seem only natural and, for others, may seem a little above and beyond what might be “necessary.” It's overall up to you whether this is something that you would be interested in pursuing with your children.
Empathy and responsiveness can be considered some of the hallmarks of this type of parenting. That's not to say that other parents aren't empathetic and responsive to their children, but these can be enhanced with this type of parenting.
Increased touch may also be considered an essential aspect of this parenting style, as physical proximity can be crucial in bonding with a child. In attachment parenting, parents are encouraged to hold and cuddle their children as much as possible.
This parenting method may require much effort and time because parents practicing it are often encouraged to be with their child(ren) as much as possible.
The eight principles of attachment parenting
The core priorities of someone practicing attachment parenting may include:
- Prepare for pregnancy and parenting. Being mentally and emotionally invested and prepared before having a child can be helpful. An attachment-parenting book, or another sort of teaching device, can be beneficial in preparation for having a child.
- Feed with love and respect. Treating your child respectfully can involve giving them healthy options, modeling healthy eating behavior, and encouraging intelligent and sustainable eating habits.
- Respond to your child with sensitivity and sympathy.
- Utilize nurturing touch.
- Create a safe sleeping environment, both physically and emotionally. Sleep is essential for all humans, but specifically for developing young children.
- Show your child love and care consistently. Young children may need near-constant levels of attention and care. Consistently showing your child love and affection can lead to the benefits of attachment parenting.
- Showcase and practice positive discipline.
- Remain balanced in your personal and social life. Creating a solid support network, setting realistic goals, and explaining your parenting to your support group can help maintain balance in your personal life.
Reading an attachment-parenting book, like one from an organization such as Attachment Parenting International, an expert resource for attachment parenting, can help you understand this method in even more detail.
The pros of attachment parenting
So, why has this parenting type often been considered an excellent choice for parents? When it comes to developing attachment, parents and children alike may stand to benefit.
In general, this type of parenting can increase sensitivity between the parent and child. The parent can learn how to read the signs of what their child is experiencing and respond to those signs quickly, which may increase trust and attunement between the two.
Forming a strong bond between the parent and the child can be another benefit of attachment parenting. William Sears, the founder of this parenting theory, believed this bond could only be built at the beginning of the child's life. The theory holds that children who are parented in this way may be better prepared for building new relationships, venturing into new situations, and much more.
The cons of attachment parenting
Of course, as with any parenting style (or anything else), there can always be some things to consider on the opposite side of the aisle.
Attachment parenting tends to recommend co-sleeping, which could be dangerous because it could put the child at risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). The more people in bed, the higher the risk of injury or death for the child; even having blankets and pillows in the family bed can be dangerous.
Some scholars have posited that since attachment parenting requires the parent to be attentive to absolutely everything regarding their child, it can lead to overdependence because the child has not learned to manage problems themselves. This can also increase the parents' stress levels as they attempt to react to every child's needs.
Do you need help?
Finding the best parenting style may be a hassle for parents both new and seasoned. The desire to do things the “right” way may lead many parents to adopt practices that might not fit their family or needs. Attachment parenting may be a good option for you, but it also might not. Getting professional advice can help set you on the right path.
Parents and children working through attachment-related challenges may find online therapy helpful. It can offer parents and children convenient connection to therapy from the comfort of their homes.
Research suggests that in addition to being an effective tool for many who seek it out, online therapy can also be more affordable for clients than in-person treatment. That means online therapy can help your family save time, money, and stress. Whether that means attachment parenting is for you or not, finding the right balance between what's suitable for your child and you can significantly help.
Takeaway
Attachment parenting is a parenting style that seeks to foster a strong bond between a parent and their child. This can be done through increased empathy, responsiveness, touch, and physical proximity. Studies have shown that the parenting style has some benefits, including increased sensitivity and trust between parent and child. However, it can also have its downsides, such as the risk of SIDS and increased parental stress. Ultimately, whether it’s good or bad for your family is likely up to you, as is to what extent you decide to implement it into your parenting.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Can a child be too attached to their parent?
A child likely can’t be too attached to their parent in a traditional sense. That is, you may rarely, if ever, find a case where a child is negatively affected because of a strong relationship with a parent.
However, a close relationship can sour if proper parenting techniques are ignored, or if a child is not able to form their own interpersonal skills, like conflict resolution or open communication with others.
Is attachment parenting evidence-based?
Attachment parenting can indeed be considered a researched, evidence-based technique for raising children.
Of course, there is some mixed evidence about specific techniques, but generally, the principles are well-researched and founded on scientific evidence.
What does insecure attachment look like?
Insecure attachment can result from poor attachment between a parent and child. The symptoms of insecure attachment might include a child becoming incredibly distressed and inconsolable when the caretaker leaves. They can also often be unable to be soothed by the return of the caretaker.
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