How Do You Approach Your Husband When He Ignores You?

Marriages can be complicated. Work can be stressful. The kids may be getting into trouble. A family relative may be causing turmoil. There could be fertility issues. The list is endless. However, communication is essential. When your man ignores you or stops talking to you, there could be a reason other than yourself. There is a big difference between when he chooses to ignore you and when he stops talking.

What do I do when my guy ignores me?

If your husband is ignoring you, or if you perceive that your husband ignores you, there could be a variety of reasons for this behavior. When your spouse starts to ignore you, you need to find out why. This is the first step to working through the lack of communication. It is quite possible that there is nothing wrong with you and that he is just so stressed out that he does not want to talk when he gets home. He may be ignoring you during these times and not even realizing it.

However, you may be wondering, “Why is he ignoring me?” “Is he having an affair?” “Does he not like me anymore?” “Is our marriage doomed?”

These are all logical questions, and you deserve an answer, but pressuring him may make your husband even more distant.

If he chooses to ignore you, this is different from suddenly ignoring you due to stress.

It would help if you kept in mind that guys do not merely ignore girls when they are romantically involved. If your husband is still in love with you, he is thinking about something other than you. While it may come across as your man ignoring you for no reason, he may simply be working an issue out in his head, and he has tunnel vision.

Tunnel vision is when someone focuses on only one thing and forgets that others are happening around them. While it may seem that he’s choosing to ignore you, he may not even realize it.

"My husband ignores me. Should I ignore him too?" The best way to address when your man ignores you is to ask what he’s thinking about. Perhaps say something like, “I’d love to hear about your day. What’s been going on at work?” He may open the floodgates and talk for an hour about all that is going through his head. This would be a great outcome.

However, he may also say that everything is fine when you say, “I’d love to hear what you’re thinking about.” While this response is not ideal, at least you know that he’s not ignoring you entirely. He may not want to talk about it right now.

At this juncture, you need to determine if your husband has chosen to ignore you or if there is a particular time of day that he is more open than others.

You also need to take into consideration what happened before your husband’s new behavior. Did you say something that hurt his feelings or forget his birthday? He may be ignoring you because he’s thinking you don’t love him anymore.

Do you see how this cycle can be perpetuated? Your guy starts to ignore you because you hurt his feelings. Instead of talking about his feelings, he shuts down and chooses to ignore your presence because he is hurting inside.

However, if you did nothing out of the ordinary and your man ignores you anyways, this will take further investigation.

What are the reasons that my husband ignores me?

There are many reasons why your man ignores you regularly. While it may be surprised when he suddenly ignores you and chooses to ignore you for a long time, it’s less shocking when your guy ignores you all the time.

The reasons why your partner has chosen to ignore you may be:

Your spouse is annoyed and starts to ignore you

Many guys do not like to talk about their feelings. While the truth is neither of these is true, it may still be hard for your spouse to open up to you about things that annoy him. Whether it is work-related or something that took place in your relationship, when your guy ignores you, it is best to ask him what is going on. You will never get to the bottom of why your man ignores you if you can’t talk it out.

Your guy ignores you because he’s overwhelmed by the commitment of marriage

While this isn’t always the case, sometimes, when your husband is ignoring you, it could be because they’re feeling overwhelmed by the commitment they’ve made. This might happen after years of arguing, or it could be your partner’s response shortly after you’ve tied the knot. Even if you think this is what’s happening, it’s best not to say accusatory things like, “You’ve been ignoring me. Do you want out of this marriage?” Instead, try showing your partner how much you care about them by remaining as kind and compassionate as possible. Feeling overwhelmed is a normal human emotion, and it’s likely your spouse will work through it and move beyond it. If they’re ignoring you to the point that it’s causing issues in your marriage, consider talking to them about going to couples counseling. Often, learning how to communicate and work through disagreements more effectively is just what a relationship needs to mend and move forward.

He misses his friends and family

When your man ignores you, it may be that he misses his life before you came on the scene. If you moved or relocated after getting together, your partner may be missing his friends and family. While it is normal to feel a longing to reconnect to your youth, your husband needs to understand that you aren’t to blame for the move. He needs to be reminded that he can still stay in touch with those close to him and not have to take it out. When your guy ignores you, it is best to talk about his sadness and perhaps plan a vacation back home. If money is tight, you can set up a virtual surprise party for your husband with all the people back home that he misses.

There may be a misunderstanding  between you and your partner

Your guy may ignore you because there was a drastic misunderstanding between you both. When you have a strong marriage and communicate well, these misunderstandings can often be avoided. However, if communication has never been a strong point of your relationship, a simple misunderstanding can be why your man ignores you suddenly.

Your guy is jealous

If you have found a new friend or discovered an interest outside your relationship, your man may ignore you because he’s jealous that you are spending time with others. If this is the case, you may try to rectify things by spending a little more time with your husband. Maybe a date night would help, or a weekend away together. You may also want to invite your spouse to participate in your newfound interest. While he may not be interested in participating, just getting an invite to join may be enough to turn things around in your relationship.

Your husband’s priorities have changed

Once, you may have been the center of your spouse’s world, but there may come a time when his priorities shift, and he places other interests before you. Instead of talking to you, he chooses to ignore you. If your guy ignores you because he isn’t passionate about you anymore, you need to know. It is not fair to you if he has moved on, starts to ignore you, and you are lagging, not knowing what is happening. Again, communication is always vital. If your husband starts to ignore you, you have the right to know why.

Your husband is having an affair

While no one wants to think that their partner is cheating on them, infidelity is a leading cause of why a man ignores his wife. When a person strays from their marriage, it is a combination of failure to communicate and a lack of respect for their partner. If your husband starts to ignore you, it may be because he is involved with another woman. However, it’s important not to jump to this conclusion without reason because there are many explanations for why your partner might ignore you.

It is possible that marriage counseling can help reunite both of you if you want him back. However, if he chooses to ignore you and finds a new love, there’s a chance that your marriage is over. Yes, this hurts, but it is best to find out early on.

Your husband is trying to understand his sexual identity

Sometimes people get married to a person they love, ignoring a conflicting sexual identity for one reason or another. It’s possible that your husband could be questioning his sexual identity if he’s started to ignore you. The truth is that people can genuinely love their partners and want to create a wonderful life together, but after they’ve failed to acknowledge their sexuality for a while, trouble can arise. If your partner is ignoring you due to confusion around their sexual identity, counseling may be helpful. It’s always great to suggest counseling compassionately, but you should never try to blackmail or force your partner to get help.

In some cases, people choose to enter into a marriage because of the stigma associated with various sexual orientations. But at some point in their lives, they’ll likely need to address their sexual identity and work through any issues surrounding it. If this is what’s happening with your partner, you’ll likely feel hurt, but it’s important to remember that you’re not the only one struggling. However, you have the right to leave the relationship or counsel yourself to work through your feelings.

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Takeaway

There are many reasons why your partner may start to ignore you. The common denominator to all of the stated causes is lack of communication. If your man ignores you, you need to find a way to get him to talk to you. It is not okay for him to push you aside. Most people’s wedding vows state that they will stay together “for better or for worse.” You can only get through the worst parts of marriage if you have an open and communicative relationship. When a guy ignores you, it is often out of disrespect, which is never okay. If your husband ignores you, try speaking with him about why, and consider reaching out for professional help.