I Love Being Single – Is That Normal?
If you love being single, you might wonder if that's considered 'normal.' Statistically speaking, no, but those are just the numbers (which we'll get to later).
If you’re curious to know "Why am I single?", but at the same time, you love it, there's nothing wrong with being single or enjoying being single—provided that's really what you want.
The single life
You're a lone wolf. You might have a pack of friends, but no one tells you what to do, and you like it that way. However, as you get older and more and more of your pack are hitching up, maybe you're wondering if there's something strange or even wrong about you. Also, perhaps you're in your 30s and feel it’s not as easy finding love when you're a 30-and-single man.
If you really enjoy being single, there's nothing wrong with being single just because most people choose to live with someone else. However, some people who say that they love being single are just telling themselves that something they don't want to deal with prevents them from being in a relationship.
You're not alone
Before we get into reasons for being single, you should know nothing wrong with being single. We can read from being single quotes that people do enjoy living a single life. It's not the most common option—depending on how you define single.
Worldwide, over ninety percent of people get married. The statistics for America are a little different. It's still over fifty percent, but you've probably heard that the number of people getting married is decreasing. However, that doesn't mean more people are staying out of relationships. According to the Pew Research Center, cohabitation rates are going up as marriage rates are declining. That suggests that people are still choosing relationships; they just aren't choosing to formalize them as often as they used to.
What kinds of people stay single?
Some people live their whole lives without really taking an interest in spending their lives with other people. Having a social network is important to your emotional as well as your physical health. But if you maintain close ties with friends and family, you can satisfy those needs without romantic love.
Other people are open to the idea of love but wait for the right person—and the right person never comes. This may sound sad, but it's probably better than rushing into a relationship because society tells you that you're supposed to, only to have the relationship fall apart.
Some people, however, tell themselves that they don't need or want relationships because they are afraid of relationships or commitment. The problem here isn't that the people aren't in a relationship.
Why not be in a relationship?
Being in a romantic relationship comes with pressures that don't come with being in platonic relationships. When was the last time that you were nervous about meeting your best friend's parents?
There are also unique relationship problems in romantic relationships that don't plague people who don't get into relationships. For example, the politics around sex can be a nightmare, even in mature relationships. Things like jealousy are barely a problem outside of romantic relationships, and you don't have to worry about your friends cheating on you. Not having sex is also a surefire way to not need to worry about kids.
Further, even healthy romantic relationships can feel draining.
But what about…
Companionship? Some people don't seem to need it as much as others. You can also get it outside of a romantic relationship. However, some people find that the challenges of being in a relationship are much of the reward. Living with someone else often calls us to be better versions of ourselves, and this is a pressure that many people who choose to remain single never face. As we'll discuss later in the article, the lack of companionship and its pressures is an excuse that many single people use to avoid addressing character flaws.
Support? It's true, being in a committed relationship is a great way to get support in your daily life, whether that means emotional support or even financial support. A relationship partner can also help you in other ways that are awkward or impractical for someone else to do.
Sex? As strange as it may be to hear, people don't need this to live happy and healthy lives. Because sex promotes the continuation of the species, humans are hardwired to enjoy it. It releases feel-good hormones in the brain. However, those hormones aren't the only way to be happy, and having sex isn't the only way to get them. Things like exercise and even some foods have a similar effect. Some people who choose to remain single argue that they are better off for not engaging in this act that takes up so much time and attention for the rest of us.
Meaning? It's true; some people see things like having kids as the only reason for living. However, not everyone feels this way. People who don't pursue these ends are simply more able to pursue the things that have meaning.
Do you want a relationship? What’s stopping you?
Single people can live a happy and healthy life without ever being in a committed relationship. However, that's only true if you don't care to be in a committed relationship. Some people lie to themselves and others about their disinterest in romance because they are afraid to find love.
When you attempt to enter into a relationship, you open yourself up to rejection. Even if you begin a committed relationship, most of them don't end in happily ever after.
Further, no one knows you better than the partner in a relationship. Maybe there are things about you that you don't think anyone could like—or that you don't even like. Avoiding relationships can help you to avoid confronting those problems or the feelings that they invoke.
Remaining single is even promoted in some religious traditions if it means avoiding practices that these traditions frown upon, such as homosexuality. As a result, many people are determined to spend their lives alone rather than do something they have been raised to believe is wrong or sinful.
If this sounds like you, you're cheating yourself in two major ways. The first of these is that you are cheating yourself out of the joys that a relationship can bring. The second is that by letting these things stop you from forming relationships, you also avoid solving the underlying problems.
Finding help
If you know what problems or fears keep you from pursuing a relationship, you can talk to a counselor or therapist about it. However, you'll have to be open with them just like you would with a partner. Lying to yourself might have prevented you from dealing with some baggage in the past but lying to your therapist won't help you get rid of it.
You may not have thought about it, but you can also talk to a relationship counselor—even if you aren't in or have never been in a relationship. This is particularly helpful if it is the relationship itself that you are afraid of.
Relationship counselors are experts in relationships. They can help you understand how relationships work and how you can start one in a way that makes you feel comfortable. Once you start a relationship, you can continue working with the relationship counselor to ensure that your relationship stays healthy. If you and your partner want, you can even bring your partner into the sessions later on—even if your relationship isn't having problems.
Like regular therapists and counselors, relationship counselors can be expensive. You also might not have many options for relationship counselors in your community, depending on where you live. Meeting with a relationship counselor over the Internet is one way to overcome these and other obstacles.
Meeting with a relationship counselor online may seem strange, but it is more affordable and more flexible than meeting with a counselor in person. For more information about how meeting with an online relationship counselor can help you, visit https://www.regain.us/start/.
Takeaway
We started this article with the question, "Is that normal?" It's the wrong question. The question that you should be asking is, "Is this really what I want?" Being single isn't for everyone, but it might be for you. If it isn't, don't pretend that it is.
If you really don't feel like you need a relationship to be happy, don't let other people pressure you into something you don't want. If you want a relationship, but you're letting fear stand in your way, don't let uncertainty and insecurity stand in the way of your happiness.
Frequently asked questions
Is it ok to enjoy being single?
Enjoying a single life is nothing to be ashamed of and is very much OK. It’s also important to understand that single time can be a period of growth, reflection, and understanding. This doesn’t mean that you can never enter into another relationship; however, enjoying your single status is a positive thing.
Stay single quotes remind us not to feel bad about enjoying being single. Likewise, don’t let anyone tell you that being single is better or worse than being in a relationship. Single life can be a great time to try new hobbies, travel, spend more time with friends, and otherwise grow as an individual. In fact, how you spend your single life has the potential to impact what your future romantic relationships may look like later.
Is it healthier to stay single?
Whether or not staying single is healthier than being in a relationship all depends upon the individual. If you enjoy being single more than being involved with a romantic partner, then it may be healthier for you to be single at this time. With that being said, there may or may not be a time when you feel ready for a relationship, and this is OK too.
If you feel uncertain about being in a relationship, then it may be healthier to live a single life and take some time to figure things out. Taking the right amount of single time can also help you determine whether staying single is the healthiest option.
In truth, only you can determine whether a single life is healthier for you than being in a relationship. There’s no rush, and if you feel uncertain, it’s fine to take as much time as you need to determine what is best for you.
Why do I prefer to be single?
There are many reasons why you may prefer being single to being in a relationship. Some people enjoy being single because it gives them time to work on themselves or pursue certain goals. Others may prefer to spend time by themselves, get to know themselves on a deeper level, or do some soul-searching.
Your reasons for preferring a single life over life in a relationship can vary based on your worldviews, experiences, and expectations. Sometimes, after a breakup or traumatic experience, people find that being single for a time is their preference. At the end of the day, there is no one set reason for why someone may find a single life to be better than being involved in a romantic relationship.
If you prefer being single, don’t feel bad about this or allow anyone to talk you out of it. At the end of the day, following your feelings and instincts is the greatest way of determining what is most agreeable to you.
How can I be ok with being single?
There are several great ways to be OK with being single. Spending time with loved ones, focusing on work, and trying new things in life are all awesome ways to make yourself OK with being single.
It’s also important to know that a single time is not a bad thing or something to be ashamed of. Very often, society tends to glamorize relationships as the end-all, be-all. This doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with having a significant other; however, no one should ever feel as though being single is wrong or something to be embarrassed about.
If you have friends or relatives who are single, spending time with them can make a single life less lonely. Remembering that being single can also provide time for growth, self-reflection, and learning is another great way to be OK with being single. At the end of the day, the single life is ultimately what you make of it.
Are single people happier?
Whether or not single people are happier than people in relationships depends upon a series of factors. Some single people are happier than their attached counterparts; likewise, there are also people in relationships who are happier and more satisfied than single individuals.
No two people are the same, which is why whether or not single people are happier than folks in relationships depends. A person who prefers being single to being in a relationship may find that the single life makes them happier; however, someone who feels more fulfilled when they have a romantic partner is more likely to feel better when they’re in a romantic relationship.
Individuals vary from one another, as do their circumstances, preferences, and outlooks on life. Happiness in a single life vs. happiness in a relationship can be impacted by the quality of the relationship, the quality of a person’s individual life, and the lifestyle they aspire to lead.
Is being single unhealthy?
There is nothing inherently unhealthy about being single. Singlehood means being without a long-term romantic partner. This, in and of itself, is not an automatic positive or negative in life.
While being single is not inherently unhealthy, how a person responds to the single life can vary in health levels. People who prefer being in a relationship instead of being single may struggle with a lack of a long-term romantic partner. In a situation such as this, healthily dealing with singlehood is deeply imperative.
Finally, the perceptions that an individual carries of being single can impact whether they handle single time in a healthy or unhealthy manner.
Is a single life better than a relationship?
Objectively, a single life is not inherently better or worse than being in a relationship. Some people have found that a single life suits them more than being with a significant other; meanwhile, others have determined that having a romantic partner in their life suits them more than a single time.
A person’s outlook on life, quality of past relationships, and lifestyle can significantly impact whether they find a single life better than a relationship. Furthermore, some individuals go through different life stages where they find that single life suits them better than life in a relationship or vice versa. Ultimately, whether a single life is preferable to a relationship depends on each person and what they are looking for.
Will I be happier divorced?
Whether or not you will be happier divorcing depends upon the quality of your marriage. If your marriage is struggling or broken beyond repair, then you may be happier as a divorced individual. Many marriages go through rough patches but ultimately make it out on the other side better than ever.
Suppose you’re unsure whether or not to seek a divorce, assessing your marriage's quality is very important. Likewise, speaking with your spouse is also advisable and can help you figure out whether or not you’ll be happier divorced.
It’s very important to remember that divorce is a major life decision. If you’re uncertain, don’t be afraid to take your time in figuring out what is right for you.
Is it better to be married or single?
If you’re wondering whether it’s better to be married or single, you should consider what you want. A person who enjoys being single over being in a relationship is probably better off not being married; on the flip side, an individual who wants to have a spouse is more likely to find being married better than being single.
Being married vs. being single is all about what you want out of life. There’s no one answer to whether or not being married is better than being single. This is a choice that each person has to make for themselves. A great way to arrive at the right answer for yourself is figuring out what you want your life to look like and whether you see yourself being married or being single later down the line.
Is it bad being single at 30?
Being single at 30 is not a bad thing or a situation that a person should be ashamed of. In fact, there are multiple reasons why a person could be single at 30 years old.
Despite what society often suggests and implies, there is no one set age that someone should be in a romantic relationship. If you are single at 30, you should not feel ashamed or less than. Likewise, if you enjoy being single, this is nothing to be ashamed of.
At the end of the day, a single status is never something that a person should feel badly about, regardless of age.
Who is happier: Single or married?
Comparisons of happiness between single and married people depend upon the quality of life, relationships, and interests. An individual who enjoys a single life is more likely to be happier than a married individual who loathes their spouse. On the flip side, someone in a loving marriage is more likely to be happier than a single person who longs for a romantic partner.
When comparing single life to married life, it’s important not to claim one as inherently better or happier than the other. There are all kinds of situations and factors that impact whether or not singlehood or married life is happier.
Why do people stay single?
There are all kinds of reasons why people stay single. Some individuals prefer to be on their own, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Other reasons for a person staying single can involve lifestyle decisions, personal struggles, or simply not finding a life partner. Some people remain single in different stages of their lives than others, and that’s OK.
How can I stay single forever?
Steering clear of romantic relationships is how you can stay single forever. Being in a relationship isn’t for everyone, and that’s OK. Another great way to stay single forever is to let any prospective partners know that you aren’t interested in being in a relationship. If leaving a single life isn’t for you, don’t feel bad about it. You don’t owe anyone a relationship, but you do owe it to yourself to live a life that is true to you.
What are the pros and cons of being single?
How can you be happy and confident while being single?
What can single people do that married people can’t?
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