Will I Be Single Forever? Seven Ways To Put Yourself Out There And Find ‘The One’
There is nothing wrong with being single. It gives you the chance to learn more about yourself, foster your passions, and date different people. However, many people reach a point in life when they feel ready for a relationship. A committed partnership can be fulfilling and rewarding, allowing you and someone special to share your lives with each other, develop a strong connection, and grow together. But it’s not always easy to know how to open yourself up to a relationship and find “the one”. If you’re having trouble on your search for love, below we’re discussing seven steps you can take to put yourself out there and find the right partner for you.
What does it mean to put yourself out there?
Putting yourself out there means making a conscious effort to explore new things, meet different people, and allow yourself to be vulnerable. When you’re dating, you often have to open yourself up emotionally and accept that it may not result in a connection. You might get lucky and find your perfect match immediately, but it’s more likely that you’ll have to meet a few people first. Luckily, there are several ways to put yourself out there that don’t have to be daunting or uncomfortable.
7 tips for putting yourself out there and finding ‘the one’
Getting out of your comfort zone and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in order to find the right person for you doesn’t have to be complicated or nerve wracking. It may simply involve knowing who you are, what you want, and how you can best connect with a potential partner. Below are seven tips that can help you open up and find someone to share your life with.
1. Know what you want
Prior to putting yourself out there, it’s important that you know what you’re looking for in a partner and a relationship. Many people struggle with directly pinpointing what they want in a significant other before beginning their search Knowing what you want out of a relationship can help you better understand what you’re looking for in a partner.
To start, ask yourself some questions. What values do you have that you’d like your partner to share? Are you searching for a life partner, or something less serious? How do your life plans fit with a romantic interest? Understanding your needs and wants when it comes to a relationship can inform your search for a partner.
2. Engage in activities you enjoy
While not always necessary, it can help to have similar interests as a potential partner. So, one of the most common ways people meet compatible partners is by getting out in the world and doing what they love. Seeking out activities that you enjoy—arts and crafts, rock climbing, cooking, kickboxing, etc.—in public places allows you to meet people who are likeminded.
For example, there are often local clubs available for you to join that are centered around different hobbies. If you like to read, consider joining a book club; if you’re training for a marathon, you can join a running group. You may also want to volunteer with organizations you support. Meetups are low-pressure situations in which you can get to know a lot of different people.
3. Carry yourself with confidence
Studies suggest that there is a link between self-assuredness and attractiveness. When you carry yourself with confidence, you’re letting the world know that you’re comfortable with who you are and worthy of respect. Valuing yourself highly can also help you attract a partner who is confident. You can build your self-worth by reframing negative ideas about yourself, practicing self-care, and standing up for yourself when necessary.
4. Consider online dating
According to Pew Research Center, 30% of adults have utilized online dating sites or apps. Some people harbor reservations about online dating, but it can be a safe and effective way of meeting a person who is compatible with you and your life. With the proper judgment and an open mind, online dating can greatly increase your likelihood of finding love. Do plenty of research to find the app or site that will be geared toward your desired outcome. Some are focused more on casual dating, while others are meant for people who are looking for a committed relationship.
5. Be yourself
Finding “the one” this often means ending up with someone who loves you for who you are. Many people struggle with simply being themselves, but this can be critical when finding love. As you put yourself out there, try to avoid telling potential partners things you think they want to hear or changing yourself in order to attract a particular person. You deserve to be with someone who appreciates your unique qualities.
6. Go on blind dates
While blind dating has developed a somewhat negative reputation, it can be a fun way of meeting a new person. Your family and friends know you better than anyone, and you never know who they might be able to set you up with. Also, it can be good practice to get outside of your comfort zone and meet people you may otherwise have overlooked. Ask your friends if they know other single people with whom you may have things in common. It can be easier to get to know someone if you have an existing connection to them.
7. Don’t get discouraged
When you’re putting yourself out there, finding love that lasts may be one of your priorities. If so, you may have to be even more patient as you look for the right partner. Try not to get discouraged or otherwise lose faith. Timing plays a critical role in a relationship and can contribute to whether two people make it as partners. Remember that you deserve a significant other who will cherish and care for you, and finding that person may take time.
How to get over the fear of putting yourself out there
There are a few ways to put yourself out there in a way that leads to minimal discomfort. It’s important to know your boundaries and respect them so that you don’t become overwhelmed. Here are a few ways to make putting yourself out there easier:
- Think of it as connecting. Focus on just meeting and interacting with others first without immediately trying to jump into a relationship.
- Decide how open you’ll be. An air of mystery can be attractive when meeting a new person, but you also want to show a potential partner the real you.
- Start small. If you’re not ready for one-on-one dating, start with something more relaxed, such as going on a double date with a friend.
- Utilize your support system. Let your friends and family know that you’re interested in dating and that you’re looking for advice or ideas on how to meet people. Have a trusted person to confide in, and make sure that you talk to them often.
How online therapy can help
Research shows that online therapy can help individuals feel confident in their choice to be in a relationship with a particular partner. In a study of over 300 participants—published in the journal Behavior Therapy—researchers examined the effects of online therapy on relationship quality, finding that confidence in the relationship increased significantly even a year after the program was complete. Additionally, participants experienced improvements in individual mental health challenges, such as anxiety and depression.
If you’re dealing with relationship struggles in your personal life, signing up for online therapy with a platform like Regain can help. Online therapy allows you to connect with a therapist without commuting to an office, so you’ll have more time to nurture relationships and possibly find that special someone. You’ll also be able to connect with a therapist outside of sessions; so, if you’d like to clarify a point made during therapy or you have a question about dating life, you can send them a message, and they’ll respond when they’re able. A relationship expert can provide you with the tools and resources to feel self-assured and comfortable as you put yourself out there. Continue reading for reviews of Regain therapists from those who have sought help in the past.
Counselor reviews
“Lakesha was absolutely amazing! She helped me find myself and realize my self worth in such a short period! I highly recommend her services she is FRESH and has amazing insight!”
“I don’t know what I would have done without Harry. I was in a super low place and I was not sure what my problems were or how to solve them, but he was able to help me get to the bottom of my problems and work through them. Today I am happy and feeling like myself again. He was so easy to talk to and worked with me whenever I needed him. Even on vacation he took time to call me and talk through whatever I was going through. I would highly recommend him.”
Takeaway
Putting yourself out there when you’re single can be difficult at times, but it is often well worth it for those who are ready to meet the right person. The most important thing to remember as you look for “the one” is that you are enough on your own, and you deserve to find someone who you can be yourself around. If you’d like help opening up and navigating the dating world, online therapy can help. With the right support, you can nurture healthy and satisfying relationships.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
What does it mean to put yourself out there?
For many people, dating is hard. It can be difficult and intimidating asking others for dating advice, trying new dating apps, or sometimes even admitting that you’re interested in dating. There are ways to put yourself out there that don’t have to be intimidating and shouldn’t make you feel awkward.
To put yourself out there means to make a conscious effort to explore new things, ways of meeting people, and to allow yourself to be vulnerable. When you’re interested in dating, you have to accept that not every experience will be a perfect one. You might get lucky and your perfect match immediately, but it’s more likely that you’ll have to meet a few people first.
Dating is hard, and the plethora of dating advice and dating apps that exist today certainly don’t make it easier. At the end of the day, while a dating app is a good place to start for some, a dating app isn’t for everyone. So, if going on a dating app isn’t for you, how do you put yourself out there? Here are a few interesting ways to put yourself out there:
- For example, if you like to hike, bike, run, crochet, paint, read, etc., there are clubs out there for every kind of hobby.
- Ask your friends if they know other single people that you may have things in common with. It can be easier to date someone if you have an existing connection to them.
- Go out to parks or community centers; they often have events, plays, and activities going on where you can meet new people.
- Join a chatroom, discord server, or messenger group that you can talk to people on or meet people through.
- Volunteer or perform community service to meet some amazing people.
There is an infinite number of ways to put yourself out there and meet people. You don’t have to be unnecessarily uncomfortable or anxious about meeting others or using a dating app. What’s important is to know what you’re looking for and what you want to get out of the relationship.
How do I get over my fear of putting myself out there?
There are a few ways to put yourself out there that you can do with minimal discomfort. It’s important to know your boundaries and respect them so that you don’t become overwhelmed. Here are a few ways to put yourself out there:
- Think of it as connecting. Don’t think about your interactions with others as what you can get out of it or what’s in it for you. Focus on just meeting and interacting with others first without immediately trying to jump into a relationship.
- Decide how open you’ll be. An air of mystery is always attractive when meeting a new person, but you don’t want to lie.
- Start small. If you’re not ready for speed dating, start with something more relaxed and calmer, such as going on a double date with a friend.
- Utilize your support system. Let your friends and family know that you’re interested in dating and that you’re looking for advice or ideas on how to meet people. Have a trusted person to confide in, and make sure that you talk to them often.
When done right, there are tons of ways to put yourself out there without becoming overwhelmed. Remember, it’s not a race, and you don’t have to find someone on your first attempt. Take it slow and easy, and be kind to yourself during the process.
How do I start putting myself first?
It is incredibly important for your mental and physical health and well-being to put yourself first. As the saying goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”. If you don’t take care of yourself, eventually, your body will make you, and it will cause you to miss out on doing the other important things in your life.
Here are a few easy ways to start putting yourself first:
- Make a list of your priorities. It should be a shortlist, and your health and mental well-being should be first on the list.
- Ask for help. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to ask your friends and family for help. You don’t have to do everything by yourself, and you’re not expected to.
- Keep things balanced. While you should absolutely prioritize yourself and your well-being, it can be unreasonable to always put yourself first in every situation. Be sure to return the favor to others when they need it and help them out just as they help you out.
- Learn how to say no. Sometimes we often feel pressured to say yes to everything and not feel like we’re disappointing them or letting them down. Though, there are times that we simply can’t, or don’t want, to do certain things. It’s ok to say no.
It is definitely a shift in mindset going from a people pleaser to learning how to take care of yourself and put yourself first. Although it can be a difficult adjustment, it is an incredibly important thing to learn how to do.
Is it worth taking risks in life?
Absolutely. By taking risks, you are trying new things, setting goals to achieve, and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. While these risks may not always pay off in the end, and you can’t guarantee that everything that you do will succeed, even if you fail, you’ll learn something from experience.
Succeeding all of the time by being safe and not taking risks doesn’t help us grow or learn new things. It is only by taking risks and sometimes failing that we learn and apply them to make us better.
It is important to know which risks to take, however. You should always make sure to calculate your risk versus the potential reward. If the risk to yourself or others is significantly larger than any possible reward you could get from it, then that is not a risk that you should take.
How do you handle risks?
The most effective and efficient way to handle risks is by using a risk management system in your decision-making. Some ways to implement this are:
- Surround yourself with people that you can trust
- Educate yourself before making a decision
- Only listen to those that have achieved what you want
- Know that not everything is always going to be positive
- Appreciate the small things in life, don’t always chase the big things
- Don’t overthink your decision; trust your gut and intuition.
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