A Guide To Participating In Couples Therapy Online
When a relationship seems to bring more stress than joy, the idea of returning your partnership to its original state can seem daunting, if not hopeless. Though you may suspect that damage in a relationship is irreparable, there are a number of viable options and proven forms of therapy that may have a positive, lasting impact on your relationship.
From years of poor communication to major betrayals, there are many reasons couples may want to consider seeking professional help. In this article, we will explore virtual couples therapy options and tips for getting the most value out of sessions.
Knowing when to seek help
Many of us tend to think of couples therapy as a “last resort” to save a failing relationship. Due in part to a general stigma that continues to surround mental health and well-being, participating in couples therapy before experiencing relationship issues is not considered typical.
If you and your partner are able, attending therapy or discussing therapy options prior to experiencing adversity can be helpful, though this option is not available to every couple.
As every relationship faces its own challenges, couples may seek counseling for a variety of reasons, such as:
Communication challenges:
Couples may struggle with effective communication. This includes trouble problem-solving and may lead to misunderstandings, growing resentment or frequent arguments.
Lack of trust
When a couple’s trust is compromised due to infidelity, dishonesty, or past trauma, complex issues tend to arise.
If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.
Intimacy concerns
Couples may experience a lack of intimacy in their relationships. This may lead to frustration, dissatisfaction, or emotional distance.
Life transitions
Life changes, such as getting married, having children, or relocating, can put a strain on a relationship.
Premarital counseling
Couples planning to get married may seek counseling to address potential challenges and learn skills for a strong foundation, communication, and conflict resolution.
Parenting conflicts
Counseling is often sought to address parenting conflicts and differences in parenting styles or to develop effective co-parenting strategies.
Financial disagreements
While disagreements regarding money tend to create tension and conflict within a relationship, couples may choose to seek counseling in order to develop shared financial goals and establish budgeting strategies.
Grief
Experiencing a significant loss, such as the death of a loved one or a miscarriage, can deeply impact a relationship.
Lack of connection
In many cases, couples may experience a lack of emotional connection or a sense of drifting apart.
Cultural or religious differences:
Couples from diverse cultural or religious backgrounds may experience challenges that arise from these differences.
Regardless of the reason a couple chooses to seek therapy, it is important to note that seeking couples counseling does not necessarily imply a failure in the relationship. A mutual willingness to participate in therapy indicates the desire to take proactive steps towards growing and strengthening your bond.
Why couples therapy works
According to research, couples therapy positively impacts around 70% of those who participate. Couples therapy is typically effective due to the safe and neutral space it creates for open communication. This open communication allows couples the opportunity to understand each other's perspectives and work through challenges with the guidance of a trained professional.
Additionally, a couples therapist will have the ability to address the unique aspects of your relationship, creating the opportunity for you and your partner to receive specialized guidance geared toward your specific challenges.
Through online couples therapy, you and your partner can learn to navigate conflicts in healthier, more effective ways. By showing the willingness to participate, couples therapy encourages an immediate sense of accountability as partners commit to actively participating in the process.
Guide to couples therapy online
https://www.thecut.com/article/couples-therapist.html
Due to the recent uptick in digital mental health services, finding an online couples therapist is easier than ever. Many online therapy services offer affordable and available options for couples seeking guidance from a licensed professional.
How to maximize online couples therapy sessions
Online couples therapy can be a powerful tool for strengthening your relationship, but getting the most out of each session requires some thoughtful preparation and commitment.
Below are a few steps you can take to get the most out of online couples therapy sessions:
1. Choose A Suitable Online Therapy Platform: Browse through reputable online therapy platforms that offer couples therapy, and choose a provider that aligns with your preferences and needs.
2. Schedule Sessions Together: Coordinate with your partner to find mutually convenient times for your counseling sessions. Make sure to allocate sufficient time for each session to allow for meaningful discussions and exploration of issues.
3. Prepare For Your Sessions: Before each session, discuss and identify specific concerns or topics you would like to address. This can help ensure that you focus on the areas that need attention.
4. Actively Engage In The Process: Approach online couples therapy with an open mind and a willingness to participate actively. Be prepared to share your thoughts, emotions, and experiences honestly. Engage in exercises, discussions, and assignments provided by your therapist to promote growth and understanding.
5. Be Patient And Committed: Relationships take time and effort to improve. When beginning couples therapy, it is typically important to set realistic expectations and be patient with the process.
Along with offering convenience, availability, and the opportunity to work on your relationship from the comfort of your own home, research shows that online couples therapy is equally as effective as in-person couples therapy.
Takeaway
By attending online couples therapy, you and your partner can receive unbiased, professional guidance that allows you to improve communication, repair damage, and strengthen your overall bond.
By improving communication, rebuilding trust, and enhancing emotional connection, couples counseling offers the opportunity to forge a more fulfilling and resilient partnership. When couples apply insights, strategies, and skills learned in therapy into their daily lives, this often leads to lasting positive changes.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How much does couples therapy cost?
When couples are going through a rough time in their relationship, rather than immediately separating or getting a divorce, some couples seek couple therapy health services so that they can try and work through their conflicts healthily and respectfully.
Generally speaking, couples therapy’s cost will depend on where you live and the couples therapist’s experience you are seeking to help you. However, couples therapy will generally cost anywhere from $100 – $200 per hour, with sessions running anywhere from 60 – 90 minutes.
That said, the best thing for you and your partner to do if you are looking to begin face-to-face therapy with a couples therapist is to have an initial discovery session with them to see what their recommendations are for you and your partner.
The first session is for you and your partner to get to know the therapist and to see if they would be the right fit for you. They will evaluate your relationship conflicts’ prevailing circumstances and then provide you with a course of action.
Alternatively, if you do not want to do face-to-face therapy, you also have the option of doing online couples therapy. Couples therapy online is a fantastic option for couples looking to work on their problems but aren’t necessarily comfortable seeing family therapists in person (or doing face-to-face therapy) because of the amount it costs.
What is the best therapy for couples?
If you and your partner are having difficulties in your marriage, it may be best for you to seek guidance from a couples therapist. Like other counseling forms, couples therapy focuses on problem-solving skills, communication skills, and conflict resolution.
That said, there are numerous options available for couples looking to seek treatment for their relationship conflicts. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to couples therapy. Each couple will have conflicts that are unique to their relationship and marriage.
Here are some of the best types of couples therapy and the best online marriage counseling tips and options available:
Couples counseling is a good option for couples who are both invested in doing therapy. It is common for one partner to wish to go to therapy. Simultaneously, the other does not want to, so this option might not be the best for couples in crisis or those in difficult situations (like domestic abuse situations).
Family therapy is another form of therapy that is available for families who are having a conflict. These types of disputes can expand and encompass children as well or other family members.
Religious couples therapy occurs through a church that you most likely attend with your partner.
Imago Therapy is a type of therapy that is good for couples who do not wish to blame one another for their problems. This type of therapy looks at the individual weaknesses you both have and then uses techniques to heal.
The Gottman Method is a therapeutic practice that uses techniques to increase a couple’s intimacy by cleansing emotions and resting the relationship.
Is online marriage counseling effective?
Like any form of therapy, the treatment’s effectiveness will be relative to the amount of effort you and your partner are willing to put in to get results.
Benefits of couples therapy online
Still, couples therapy online and emotion-focused therapy are practical approaches to treatment and provide many benefits, including:
One of the best online marriage counseling benefits is the ability to seek treatment from your home’s comfort instead of going into an office.
Another of the best online marriage counseling benefits is that it is more convenient for couples. With busy schedules, it can sometimes be hard for couples to find a moment when they are both free at the same time. Therefore by being online, couples can seek treatment from anywhere at any time.
Long-distance relationships may also benefit from online marriage counseling. They do not need to be in the same location to seek help in their relationship.
What are the three C’s in a healthy relationship?
Relationships are successful when both partners have a strong bond towards one another based on three principles that ensure a healthy and long relationship.
Here are the three C’s to having a healthy relationship with your partner:
It is always important to communicate with your partner openly, calmly, and respectfully at all times, regardless of if you are in an argument or not. Communication can be both verbal and non-verbal, which means that actions through your body language are also crucial, whether it’s holding their hand or going out your way to do something special for them just because you can, for example.
Relationships are all about compromise. It takes two people to build a healthy relationship. Therefore, while there will be times when you and your partner disagree on things, you need to work together to find a middle ground so you are both happy. Otherwise, one partner will feel like they are continually sacrificing their happiness to please their partner.
The last most crucial aspect of a healthy relationship is a commitment towards one another and your relationship. This means that you are willing to fight and stick up for each other through the good times and the bad.
What is the Gottman repair checklist?
The Gottman repair checklist is a form of emotionally-focused therapy that helps couples repair their relationship to “disrupt conflict oral communication, increase respect, and improve intimacy and affection.”
This type of behavioral couple therapy can be broken down into three principles:
Enhancing love maps within your marriage: get to understand your partner’s perspective and worldview by asking them questions about themselves and remembering the answers to those questions.
Enhance the fondness you have with your partner by showing them that you love and care for them through actions and words.
Don’t push away from each other but rather come closer together. Hold hands, make eye contact, laugh with them, ask for help, etc.
It’s easy for couples to get into the habit of yelling at each other, being critical, and belittling one another. Therefore, by repairing these parts of your relationship using the above-noted principles, you can begin to heal your bond with one another.
How do you mend a broken relationship?
Over time, some couples may experience periods where they engage in conflict with one another that spirals out of control. The result of this is a broken relationship that can be emotionally and mentally distressing for both partners involved.
Rather than breaking up or getting a divorce, some couples may choose to work on their relationship first to see if they can reconcile. If you and your partner are in the position of wanting to know if you can still be together, here are some tips to help you:
See couples therapist, whether online or in person.
Refrain from gaslighting and belittling your partner when you are arguing
Start going out on dates again to rekindle your relationship intimacy.
Find soothing self-copying mechanisms you can do to work on yourselves.
Can you go to couples counseling if you’re not married?
Yes, you can see a couples therapist even if you are not married.
Many couples go to therapy as they wish to work on aspects of their relationship that they feel they cannot fix independently. Whether it be in person or online, couples therapy is a great way to have a neutral conversation with your partner about the things affecting your relationship without it getting out of control.
Couples counseling is highly beneficial for couples who are on their way to marriage but would like to work on aspects of their relationship before making that commitment to one another.
When couples counseling is done, both partners must be willing to work on moving past their problems. It will likely not be effective if only one partner participates.
How can I improve my relationship outside of couples therapy?
If therapy isn't an option, try reading relationship books together, listening to relationship podcasts, or attending workshops. Simply dedicating time each week for honest communication—like a "relationship check-in"—can help strengthen your bond.
What is stonewalling in a relationship?
Stonewalling happens when one partner shuts down or withdraws during an argument, refusing to communicate. It's often a way to avoid feeling overwhelmed, but it can leave the other partner feeling ignored and frustrated.
More commonly asked questions
What questions do therapists ask in couples therapy?
Therapists often ask about communication styles, major issues causing conflict, and what each person needs from the relationship. They might also ask about goals—both as individuals and as a couple—to help align expectations.
What should you avoid saying in couples therapy?
Avoid blame or harsh language like "you always" or "you never." Statements meant to hurt or shut down the other person can prevent progress. Instead, focus on "I" statements to express your feelings and needs.
Can couples therapy fix a broken relationship?
Couples therapy can help if both people are willing to put in the effort. It's not a magic fix, but it provides tools for better communication, understanding, and healing. The outcome depends on the commitment of both partners.
What are some deep relationship questions?
Deep questions include, "What are your biggest fears in our relationship?" or "How can we support each other better?" These questions help open up vulnerable conversations and bring more profound understanding and closeness.
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