A Guide To Participating In Couples Therapy Online
When a relationship seems to bring more stress than joy, the idea of returning your partnership to its original state can seem daunting, if not hopeless. Though you may suspect that damage in a relationship is irreparable, there are a number of viable options and proven forms of therapy that may have a positive, lasting impact on your relationship.
From years of poor communication to major betrayals, there are many reasons couples may want to consider seeking professional help. In this article, we will explore virtual couples therapy options and tips for getting the most value out of sessions.
Knowing when to seek help
Many of us tend to think of couples therapy as a “last resort” to save a failing relationship. Due in part to a general stigma that continues to surround mental health and well-being, participating in couples therapy before experiencing relationship issues is not considered typical.
If you and your partner are able, attending therapy or discussing therapy options prior to experiencing adversity can be helpful, though this option is not available to every couple. Online therapy can offer a solution for couples who may not have licensed marriage professionals nearby.
As every relationship faces its own challenges, couples may seek marriage counseling for a variety of reasons, such as:
Communication challenges:
Couples may struggle with effective communication. This includes trouble problem-solving and may lead to misunderstandings, growing resentment, or frequent arguments. Attending marriage counseling can provide structured tools to resolve conflict during difficult conversations.
Lack of trust
When a couple’s trust is compromised due to infidelity, dishonesty, or past trauma, complex issues tend to arise. In these cases, consulting a licensed therapist can help you work through trust-related relationship concerns.
If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.
Intimacy concerns
Couples may experience a lack of intimacy in their relationships. This may lead to frustration, dissatisfaction, or emotional distance. Some individual therapy options also help partners rebuild physical and emotional closeness and foster a loving relationship.
Life transitions
Life changes, such as getting married, having children, or relocating, can put a strain on a loving relationship. For those preparing for big changes, premarital counseling can offer skills for better communication and a stronger start.
Premarital counseling
Couples planning to get married may seek a counseling session or sessions with a licensed marriage professional to address potential challenges and learn skills for a strong foundation, communication, and conflict resolution.
Parenting conflicts
Marriage counseling is often sought to address parenting conflicts and differences in parenting styles or to develop effective co-parenting strategies. Married couples may seek support for disagreements related to parenting styles. Sometimes, online couples counseling provides flexible options for these discussions.
Financial disagreements
While disagreements regarding money tend to create tension and conflict within a relationship, couples may choose to seek marriage counseling in order to develop shared financial goals and establish budgeting strategies. Exploring medication management with a licensed psychiatrist, for stress and anxiety, can also help regulate emotions related to money.
Grief
Experiencing a significant loss, such as the death of a loved one or a miscarriage, can deeply impact a relationship. Couples may choose to begin treatment in person or through online therapy to process the shared pain together.
Lack of connection
In many cases, couples may experience a lack of emotional connection or a sense of drifting apart. Couples counseling can create a safe space to reestablish that bond.
Cultural or religious differences:
Couples from diverse cultural or religious backgrounds may experience challenges or relationship concerns that arise from these differences. Seeking a licensed therapist with cultural competence can help resolve relationship problems.
Regardless of the reason a couple chooses to seek therapy, it is important to note that seeking couples counseling does not necessarily imply a failure in the relationship. A mutual willingness to participate in therapy indicates the desire to take proactive steps towards growing and strengthening your bond.
Why couples therapy works
According to research, couples therapy positively impacts around 70% of those who participate. Couples therapy is typically effective due to the safe and neutral space it creates for open communication. This open communication allows couples the opportunity to understand each other's perspectives and work through relationship challenges with the guidance of a trained professional.
Additionally, a couples therapist will have the ability to address the unique aspects of your relationship, creating the opportunity for you and your partner to receive specialized guidance geared toward your specific challenges. For couples preparing for marriage, this tailored approach can strengthen the foundation of your commitment. Some practice models also offer unlimited messaging, giving couples the chance to stay connected to their therapist between therapy sessions.
Through online couples therapy, you and your partner or spouse can learn to navigate conflicts in healthier, more effective ways. By showing the willingness to participate, couples therapy encourages an immediate sense of accountability as partners commit to actively participating in the process.
Guide to couples therapy online
https://www.thecut.com/article/couples-therapist.html
Due to the recent uptick in digital mental health services, finding an online and in-network couples therapist is easier than ever. Many online therapy services offer affordable and available options for couples seeking guidance from a licensed marriage professional. If your insurance plans cover online treatment, you may be able to pursue couples therapy without worrying about high costs.
When choosing a provider, check if they’re in-network, as this can reduce the overall cost of each session. You may also want to explore different practice styles to find what works best for your life stage and relationship goals.
How to maximize online couples therapy sessions
Online couples therapy can be a powerful tool for strengthening your relationship, but getting the most out of each session requires some thoughtful preparation and commitment.
Below are a few steps you can take to get the most out of online couples therapy sessions:
1. Choose A Suitable Online Therapy Platform: Browse through reputable online therapy platforms that offer couples therapy, and choose a provider that aligns with your preferences and needs. Ensure they have a qualified and licensed therapist with at least a master's degree in counseling or psychology for expert care.
2. Schedule Sessions Together: Coordinate with your partner to find mutually convenient times for your counseling sessions. Make sure to allocate sufficient time for each session to allow for meaningful discussions and exploration of issues.
3. Prepare For Your Sessions: Before each session, discuss and identify specific concerns or topics you would like to address. This can help ensure that you focus on the areas that need attention.
4. Actively Engage In The Process: Approach online couples therapy with an open mind and a willingness to participate actively. Be prepared to share your thoughts, emotions, and experiences honestly. Engage in exercises, discussions, and assignments provided by your therapist to promote growth and understanding.
5. Be Patient And Committed: Relationships take time and effort to improve. When beginning couples therapy, it is typically important to set realistic expectations and be patient with the process. Staying committed to the treatment process helps rebuild trust, fosters a loving relationship, and can strengthen your marriage.
Along with offering convenience, availability, and the opportunity to work on your relationship from the comfort of your own home, research shows that online couples therapy is equally as effective as in-person couples therapy.
Takeaway
By attending online couples therapy, you and your partner can receive unbiased, professional guidance that allows you to improve communication, repair damage, and strengthen your overall bond.
By improving communication, rebuilding trust, and enhancing emotional connection, couples counseling offers the opportunity to forge a more fulfilling and resilient partnership. When couples apply insights, strategies, and skills learned in therapy into their daily lives, this often leads to lasting positive changes.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How much does couples therapy cost?
When couples are going through a rough time in their relationship, rather than immediately separating or getting a divorce, some couples seek couple therapy health services so that they can try and work through their conflicts healthily and respectfully.
Generally speaking, couples therapy’s cost will depend on where you live and the couples therapist’s experience you are seeking to help you. However, couples therapy will generally cost anywhere from $100 – $200 per hour, with sessions running anywhere from 60 – 90 minutes.
That said, the best thing for you and your partner to do if you are looking to begin face-to-face therapy with a couples therapist is to have an initial discovery session with them to see what their recommendations are for you and your partner.
The first session is for you and your partner to get to know the therapist and to see if they would be the right fit for you. They will evaluate your relationship conflicts’ prevailing circumstances and then provide you with a course of action.
Alternatively, if you do not want to do face-to-face therapy, you also have the option of doing online couples therapy. Couples therapy online is a fantastic option for couples looking to work on their problems but aren’t necessarily comfortable seeing family therapists in person (or doing face-to-face therapy) because of the amount it costs.
For those living in multiple states, online couples counseling can provide consistent care. Online therapy and online couples counseling can be convenient and may even offer unlimited messaging options for extra support between sessions.
Most insurance plans now accept insurance for online counseling services, making it easier to start. However, check with your insurance provider to see if your plan covers mental health services or individual therapy alongside couples counseling.
When couples therapy becomes part of your journey, it helps to understand what you’re paying for and why. Many in-network providers offer more affordable therapy sessions, and some even have sliding scales to help make the cost manageable. For couples who prefer more flexibility, online therapy can be a convenient alternative with payment plans to fit your budget.
If you or your partner feel that you need extra support, adding individual therapy to your routine can strengthen your progress. To avoid financial surprises, check with your insurance provider to confirm what your insurance plans cover. If there are additional needs, like medication management, having that information upfront can make it easier to begin treatment without hesitation.
What is the best therapy for couples?
If you and your partner are having difficulties in your marriage, it may be best for you to seek guidance from a couples therapist. Like other marriage counseling forms, couples therapy focuses on problem-solving skills, communication skills, and conflict resolution.
That said, there are numerous options available for couples looking to seek treatment for their relationship conflicts. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to couples therapy. Each couple will have conflicts that are unique to their relationship and marriage.
Here are some of the best types of couples therapy and the best online marriage counseling tips and options available:
Couples counseling is a good option for couples who are both invested in doing therapy. It is common for one partner to wish to go to therapy. Simultaneously, the other does not want to, so this option might not be the best for couples in crisis or those in difficult situations (like domestic abuse situations).
Family therapy is another form of therapy that is available for families who are having a conflict. These types of disputes can expand and encompass children as well as other family members. Family dynamics can be addressed in family therapy, especially when dysfunctional dynamics contribute to conflicts.
Religious couples therapy occurs through a church that you most likely attend with your partner.
Imago Therapy is a type of therapy that is good for couples who do not wish to blame one another for their problems. This type of therapy looks at the individual weaknesses you both have and then uses techniques to heal.
The Gottman Method is a therapeutic practice that uses techniques to increase a couple’s intimacy by cleansing emotions and resting the relationship.
Online couples therapy services also offer a safe space for couples who may not be able to meet in person. Therapy sessions can provide immediate help when addressing mental health concerns that impact your bond.
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to couples therapy. If you’re preparing for marriage, premarital counseling can set you up for success by giving you and your partner tools for clear communication and mutual understanding.
If your relationship feels weighed down by ongoing relationship issues, working with a licensed marriage counselor can help you address challenges that might otherwise feel too big to handle. Some providers offer medication management as part of their care plans, which can be helpful when mental health concerns are at play. Whether your sessions are in-person or virtual, knowing you have professional support can ease the process of rebuilding trust and connection.
Is online marriage counseling effective?
Like any form of therapy, the treatment’s effectiveness will be relative to the amount of effort you and your partner are willing to put in to get results.
Benefits of couples therapy online
Still, couples therapy online and emotion-focused therapy are practical approaches to treatment and provide many benefits, including:
One of the best online marriage counseling benefits is the ability to seek treatment from your home’s comfort instead of going into an office.
Another of the best online marriage counseling benefits is that it is more convenient for couples. With busy schedules, it can sometimes be hard for couples to find a moment when they are both free at the same time. With busy schedules, partners can schedule online couples therapy sessions around their day. Therefore, by being online, couples can seek treatment from anywhere at any time.
Long-distance relationships may also benefit from online marriage counseling and online couples therapy services, as they do not need to be in the same location to seek help in their relationship.
For couples looking to improve their relationship skills before marriage, premarital counseling can provide the support they need to start with a stronger foundation.
For couples juggling packed schedules or navigating long distances, online couples counseling can be a game-changer. Some platforms even offer unlimited messaging in addition to a video session or several sessions, so you can check in with your therapist between meetings if something comes up.
For couples facing significant life changes, like relocating or job shifts, having therapy sessions from anywhere is a huge benefit. For those who feel more comfortable at home than in a therapist's office, virtual counseling can provide consistent support while maintaining a familiar environment.
What are the three C’s in a healthy relationship?
Relationships are successful when both partners have a strong bond with one another based on three principles that ensure a healthy and long relationship.
Here are the three C’s to having a healthy relationship with your partner:
It is always important to communicate with your partner openly, calmly, and respectfully at all times, regardless of if you are in an argument or not. Communication can be both verbal and non-verbal, which means that actions through your body language are also crucial, whether it’s holding their hand or going out your way to do something special for them just because you can, for example. Communication problems can arise when partners don’t feel heard. Family therapists help improve this by fostering honest discussions.
Relationships are all about compromise. It takes two people to build a healthy relationship. Therefore, while there will be times when you and your partner disagree on things, you need to work together to find a middle ground so you are both happy. Otherwise, one partner will feel like they are continually sacrificing their happiness to please their partner.
The last most crucial aspect of a healthy relationship is a commitment towards one another and your relationship. This means that you are willing to fight and stick up for each other through the good times and the bad. Seeking licensed family therapists or undergoing relationship therapy can strengthen commitment during challenging moments.
Healthy relationships thrive on commitment, communication, and compromise. Couples who struggle with communication often find that marriage counseling gives them the tools to navigate disagreements more productively. It’s not just about having the right words—it’s about learning how to truly listen.
By committing to regular sessions, partners can strengthen their bond and build better habits for resolving conflict. If you feel like your current approach isn’t working, don’t be afraid to explore other types of counseling. Finding the right therapist can make all the difference in how you and your spouse handle the ups and downs of your shared life.
What is the Gottman repair checklist?
The Gottman repair checklist is a form of emotionally-focused therapy that helps couples repair their relationship to “disrupt conflict oral communication, increase respect, and improve intimacy and affection.”
This type of behavioral couple therapy can be broken down into three principles:
Enhancing love maps within your marriage: get to understand your partner’s perspective and worldview by asking them questions about themselves and remembering the answers to those questions.
Enhance the fondness you have with your partner by showing them that you love and care for them through actions and words.
Don’t push away from each other but rather come closer together. Hold hands, make eye contact, laugh with them, ask for help, etc.
It’s easy for couples to get into the habit of yelling at each other, being critical, and belittling one another. Therefore, by repairing these parts of your relationship using the above-noted principles, you can begin to heal your bond with one another.
The Gottman repair checklist focuses on rebuilding trust and restoring emotional closeness after a conflict. It encourages partners to speak with honesty and compassion and to take intentional steps toward repairing their relationship.
This method can also be useful during premarital counseling for couples who want to establish good habits before they enter marriage. For those dealing with anxiety or emotional trauma, adding medication management to the treatment plan can be incredibly helpful. A skilled therapist can tailor their approach to fit your needs, ensuring you have the right support for growth and healing.
How do you mend a broken relationship?
Over time, some couples may experience periods where they engage in conflict with one another that spirals out of control. The result of this is a broken relationship that can be emotionally and mentally distressing for both partners involved.
Rather than breaking up or getting a divorce, some couples may choose to work on their relationship first to see if they can reconcile. If you and your partner are in the position of wanting to know if you can still be together, here are some tips to help you:
See couples therapy services, whether online or in person.
Refrain from gaslighting and belittling your partner when you are arguing
Start going out on dates again to rekindle your relationship intimacy and loving relationship.
Find soothing self-copying mechanisms you can do to work on yourselves.
A broken relationship doesn’t have to mean the end of the road. With the right tools and commitment, couples can rebuild what’s been lost. Seeking couples therapy is a step toward understanding each other better and moving past old wounds. If mental health struggles are involved, individual therapy can help each partner process their feelings and be more present in their shared healing process.
Some providers incorporate medication management to help clients regulate their emotions, making it easier to focus on what really matters. Regular therapy sessions with a compassionate therapist can provide a steady source of support as you navigate the process of rebuilding trust and rediscovering joy in your life together.
Can you go to couples counseling if you’re not married?
Yes, you can see a couples therapist even if you are not married.
Many couples go to therapy as they wish to work on aspects of their relationship that they feel they cannot fix independently. Whether it be in person or online, couples counseling and couples therapy can be great ways to have a neutral conversation with your partner about the things affecting your relationship without it getting out of control.
Premarital counseling and couples counseling can be highly beneficial for couples who are on their way to marriage but would like to work on aspects of their relationship before making that commitment to one another.
When couples counseling is done, both partners must be willing to work on moving past their problems. It will likely not be effective if only one partner participates.
Couples counseling isn’t just for married couples. Many couples seek premarital counseling to prepare for the realities of marriage by addressing potential relationship issues early on.
Some people also start with individual therapy to better understand their emotions and patterns before committing to a joint session or sessions. Working with an experienced therapist can give you the tools to handle challenges and build a stronger connection, regardless of your relationship status.
How can I improve my relationship outside of couples therapy?
If couples therapy isn't an option, try reading relationship books together, listening to relationship podcasts, or attending workshops. Simply dedicating time each week for honest communication—like a "relationship check-in"—can help strengthen your bond.
If premarital counseling interests both you and your partner, it can provide guidance even before major relationship challenges arise. Seeking marriage counseling can also help married couples develop better communication skills. Online therapy may offer unlimited messaging for ongoing support.
Also, check if your insurance plans cover individual therapy. An insurance provider offers assistance that makes therapy sessions more accessible. Whether you prefer in-person therapy sessions or online couples counseling, it’s helpful to explore all options that fit your unique situation and enhance your life together.
What is stonewalling in a relationship?
Stonewalling happens when one partner shuts down or withdraws during an argument, refusing to communicate. It's often a way to avoid feeling overwhelmed, but it can leave the other partner feeling ignored and frustrated.
A licensed therapist can offer a safe space where you both feel understood. They’ll guide you on how to address challenges like stonewalling in a way that promotes openness and care. In cases where stonewalling stems from deeper trauma or dysfunctional dynamics, therapy can help identify those patterns. And if you’re experiencing domestic violence, seeking immediate help is crucial—your safety comes first.
Seeking marriage counseling early can prevent communication breakdowns from escalating into serious relationship problems. A session or regular sessions with a trusted therapist can provide the support needed to address these issues and improve your life together.
More commonly asked questions
What questions do therapists ask in couples therapy?
In couples therapy, therapists often ask about communication styles, major issues causing conflict, and what each person needs from the relationship. They might also ask about goals—both as individuals and as a couple—to help align expectations.
If you’re attending relationship therapy or family therapy, questions may dig deeper into family dynamics and how they’ve shaped your views on connection. Some licensed marriage professionals also offer medication management and other services to support couples who are facing serious mental health concerns.
If deeper mental health concerns are contributing to your struggles, your provider may suggest additional individual therapy to strengthen your emotional resilience. Some couples also benefit from exploring self-guided exercises outside of their session or sessions to reinforce what they’ve learned during counseling.
What should you avoid saying in couples therapy?
Avoid blame or harsh language like "you always" or "you never." Statements meant to hurt or shut down the other person can prevent progress. Instead, focus on "I" statements to express your feelings and needs.
Avoiding blame and focusing on your personal feelings can make a big difference in couples counseling. Sessions should be a time to express your concerns without judgment. Some partners opt for individual therapy first to help them communicate more effectively when attending a joint session or several sessions.
The right practice can guide you through emotional conversations without feeling overwhelmed. Whether you’re meeting online or in person, counseling can be most effective when both partners feel safe and supported.
A master's degree in counseling equips family therapists with skills to navigate these sensitive conversations. Whether you're meeting in a therapist's office or opting for online couples counseling, a good counseling session should feel like a safe space for both you and your spouse to speak openly.
Can couples therapy fix a broken relationship?
Couples therapy can help repair a fractured relationship if both you and your partner are willing to put in the effort. It's not a magic fix, but it provides tools for better communication, understanding, and healing. The outcome depends on the commitment of both partners. Attending a session or regular sessions with a dedicated therapist provides a framework for understanding and healing.
If your relationship is also affected by mental health concerns, a licensed therapist can adjust the treatment plan to fit those needs. Some couples therapy services even accept insurance, which can ease financial stress. Look for in-network providers to get the most out of your insurance plans.
If unresolved relationship challenges are compounded by mental health concerns, adding individual therapy may be beneficial. Some therapists include treatment plans that incorporate support for anxiety or depression, which can help couples approach their issues more calmly. Marriage counseling can also be effective for identifying and addressing longstanding emotional pain.
What are some deep relationship questions?
Deep questions include, "What are your biggest fears in our relationship?" or "How can we support each other better?" These questions help open up vulnerable conversations and bring more profound understanding and closeness.
For couples considering marriage, premarital counseling can help you resolve relationship problems before they escalate. Workshops that focus on problem-solving and communication skills can also give you tools to build a stronger, healthier relationship.
For couples navigating significant relationship issues, attending regular marriage counseling sessions can create a safe space to explore these topics.
If there are recurring relationship challenges, a good therapist will encourage open-ended conversations during your session or sessions to bring clarity and strengthen your bond. Whether you're in individual therapy or joint counseling, having the right support system can help you build a healthier relationship.
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