What Is Reality Therapy? Techniques And Applications

Do you feel lonely or unaccomplished but don't know how to cope with it? Do you stress about daily responsibilities or feel like it's hard for you to relax and enjoy yourself? Do you appreciate problem-solving by finding practical solutions that focus on your choices? If you answered yes to these questions, reality therapy might benefit you. 

Reality therapy focuses on the future rather than the past. It focuses on developing goals and assessing your current behavior related to achieving or moving away from them and ties your motivations to human psychological needs, including survival, power, love and belonging, freedom, and fun.

While reality therapy might not be perfect for everyone and every problem, it can offer benefits for various mental health conditions and symptoms. Learning more about how reality therapy works can help you make an informed decision about the types of therapy of treatment you seek. 

Origins of reality therapy

Reality therapy was first identified as a distinct approach to human psychology by William Glasser in the 1960s.

Rather than looking into a client's past for insight, reality therapy is a type of future-focused therapy. Glasser determined that there are five basic needs every human has, including the following: 

• To survive
• To have the power to achieve, learn, and act 
• To love others and feel loved in return and belong to a group
• To have the freedom to make independent choices and take responsibility for the consequences
• To be able to have fun and enjoy oneself

Reality therapy is tied to two core concepts. The first concept states that all people tend to distract themselves from reality with enjoyable fantasies. Whenever you imagine what you should have said to a coworker or fantasize about going on vacation, you may avoid reality in favor of pleasant fiction. Under the concepts of reality therapy, although these fantasies may seem harmless, they might distract you from the consequences of your actions and remove the motivation to change your life for the better.

The second core concept of reality therapy is that the goal of centering yourself in reality to make better choices is valuable. You might have heard the term "reality check" as a negative experience forced on you. However, in reality therapy, staying grounded is how you get what you want out of life and involves seeking self-fulfillment. For many clients, focusing on the facts of a situation can offer a realistic sense of self and improve mental health.

What is choice theory? 

A significant part of reality therapy is choice theory. Choice theory states that each person only has control over their choices and not as much impact over the actions of others. Some people may use reality therapy and choice theory interchangeably, but there is a distinction. 

Choice theory is the theoretical basis for the actions taken during treatment, whereas reality therapy is a therapeutic modality for describing and interpreting human behavior. Reality therapy is more than a way of seeing and understanding the world. It is designed to take that knowledge and apply it with professional support. 

The three Rs of reality therapy

In developing choice theory, Glasser devised several principles about human nature and relationships. Three of the most essential involved the "three Rs of reality therapy." 

Reality 

In reality therapy, the therapist may help the client see and accept the consequences of their behavior. Reality therapy and choice theory posits that it's challenging to make healthier choices if you don't understand your choices' outcomes. At the beginning of a reality therapy session, you might start identifying objective facts to describe your behaviors instead of using past experiences, feelings, or ideas to validate them. 

Responsibility 

A therapist specializing in reality therapy and choice theory might also see whether the participant takes responsibility for their actions and their effect on their own life without worrying whether other people's choices meet their needs. Reality therapy encourages the value of relationships in making positive choices and achieving success. However, reality therapy and choice theory focus on an individual's ability to make progress without relying on others for all of their support or validation. 

Right and wrong 

Finally, a choice theory and reality therapy therapist may ask whether the participant understands their goals and how their choices move toward or away from them. These goals can include material, ethical, and social considerations. Understanding how goals align with morals is another aspect of choice theory and reality therapy. 

How to set goals in reality therapy

A few primary goals are often set at the beginning of reality therapy, including the five above needs. However, choice theory and reality therapy approach these goals in a way that differs from many therapeutic techniques.

Rather than focus on how your past has led you to your current situation like some other therapy techniques, reality therapy concentrates entirely on your present and future. Instead of focusing on what occurred, you can focus on where you want to go. The premise of this therapy is that understanding what you desire is the first step in achieving it. 

In modern society, many individuals have achieved the survival stage of reality therapy. However, they may struggle to reach the other four. According to Glasser, we all drive towards these goals consciously or unconsciously. Greater happiness and success can be attained by openly seeing these as objectives and then making healthy choices to achieve them.

Part of the process of achieving your goals may involve determining the specifics of your goals. For example, if your goal is to be loved, your therapist may ask you who you want to love you, why you want to be loved, and what form of love you seek. If your goal is to be successful, your therapist may ask you to outline what success looks like to you and what you'd do once you had it. 

The main objective of reality therapy

For many, the main goal of reality therapy is to feel empowered, confident, and in control of your life. By focusing on what you can change in your behavior and environment, you can capitalize on opportunities to progress. 

For many, aspects of life may feel like occurrences that just happen to you and around you. It can also feel like your success depends on how others behave. Reality therapy offers the tools to be intentional about how you spend your time, showcasing that you can lead your reality. 

The eight steps of reality therapy

How you and your therapist execute reality therapy and what reality therapy techniques you use may depend on your specific relationship. However, there is an eight-step process for counselors to use when helping someone through reality therapy, including the following steps: 

1. Build a healthy therapeutic relationship
2. Examine the current behavior
3. Evaluate whether the behavior is helpful or not
4. Brainstorm alternatives
5. Commit to trying selected alternatives
6. Later, examine the effectiveness of the commitment without punishment or excuses
7. Accept the logical and natural consequences of the behavior
8. Try not to feel discouraged

Although reality therapy takes a straightforward approach, it can be an effective modality for many. One study on reality therapy for clients living with schizophrenia found that self-esteem, sense of control, and problem-solving ability increased significantly for all participants. 

Positive therapeutic connection with your reality therapist

Reality therapy's goal is not to punish, degrade, criticize, or otherwise make the participant feel down. When a reality therapy counselor guides a participant, their goal is to achieve a new understanding of where that participant is and where they would like to go. The participant sets the goals and standards.

Finding a counselor that you feel safe and comfortable with can be essential when looking for a reality therapist. The counselor's goal is to keep the participant honest and on track. When a client is trying to make behavior changes, challenges may occur. Even someone wholly committed to a personal transformation might waver occasionally. A behavioral therapy counselor can help them identify when they're making excuses for themselves or struggling to continue with their treatment plan but is not there to shame or cause harm. 

A healthy reality counselor may maintain accountability with the participant while serving as a navigator. Reality therapy is often focused on moving forward. When trying to change who you are, you might struggle with thoughts and ideas about who you used to be. A reality therapist may help you avoid those pitfalls.

Counseling options 

Many people work to change the way they behave and learn to make healthier choices in their lives. This process may require understanding trauma, treating an underlying mental illness, or identifying psychological diagnoses in some cases. In other cases, clients might benefit from changing their perspective on themselves, their power, and the consequences of their behavior.

If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.

Reality therapy is designed to develop that new perspective. It can teach you to create a feeling of competence as you learn to exercise more significant influence over your existence. This work might take time, honesty, and focus. If you don't have the time to commit to appointments in person, you can also try reality therapy online through a platform like Regain for couples or BetterHelp for individuals. 

You can gain insight into your own reality through an online platform while meeting with a therapist on a schedule that works for you. Since online therapists can work from home, many offer early morning, late night, or weekend hours for other professionals who can't meet with an in-person therapist. In addition, online therapists can show each other's screens, send instant worksheets, and offer questionnaires to their clients. Studies have also found that 71% of those who try online therapy prefer it to in-person options, and 96% would use an online platform again.