When Should I Consider A Family Therapist?

If you are experiencing family difficulties, you may wonder whether meeting with a marriage and family therapist would benefit you. Family therapy is implemented for many reasons and can be highly effective. For example, if a child is experiencing mental health issues, family therapy can allow all families to come together to aid in their recovery. In other instances, family therapy may be suggested when the family is experiencing challenges together, like grief or divorce. 

However, you do not need to have a mental health condition diagnosed in the family or a severe issue to see a family therapist. Family therapy can benefit any family dynamic if all participants are willing to attend sessions. You can also partake in family-oriented therapy individually. Some clients may feel most comfortable discussing their family concerns independently and bringing their new coping mechanisms home to the rest of the family. 

Regardless of your reason for seeking treatment, you're not alone. Considering the many facets of family therapy can help you decide if it's the right form of treatment for you.

How to know if your family would benefit from support 

A family therapist can also help identify challenges if you're unsure where the challenges lie in your group dynamic.  

For many families, there is more than one concern, and each family may have their own opinions and experiences of family life. In family therapy, the therapist can help the family understand their parts' interconnectedness and meet their goals for sessions. 

For example, if parents hope to attend therapy for a child's behavior, they may see the child's behavior as the sole problem. However, the therapist can further understand how the parents might benefit the child and why the behavior occurs. Instead of placing blame, all families take an active role in treatment. Some types of family therapy, like family systems therapy, may be particularly helpful for families trying to understand the family unit, and how the challenges of one family member impact everyone in the unit.

Once you have unraveled the individual problems within your family, you can move on to partaking in exercises and treatments that benefit everyone. Your therapist can recommend exercises to facilitate conversations for a healthier family dynamic overall. Though many people may think family therapy will be a long, time-consuming affair, it is often designed to be a short-term process.

If you're unsure whether your family would benefit from therapy, you may find it helpful to explore your options through a database for licensed family therapists, such as the locator provided by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). All licensed marriage and family therapists are required to pass state licensing boards developed and administer by the Association of Marital and Family Therapy Regulatory Boards (AMFTRB), but it’s a good idea to look up their licensure number to see if they’ve ever had their licensed suspended or revoked, and if they’re currently in good standing.

When you find someone, you might be interested in working with, you can them for an initial short consultation to ask questions and learn more about their approach. Once you find a provider you connect with, you can start receiving treatment. 

Reasons families seek therapy

Below are some of the most common reasons families seek family therapy. 

If a child is "acting out" or struggling with mental health 

Family therapy is often considered by families when a child is "acting out" or struggling with their behaviors or emotions. While many may assume behavior is due to age or a desire to "be disobedient," this is often not true. Poor behavior can be a sign of a mental health condition, the result of an adverse event, caused by severe stress, or due to family dysfunction. Authoritarian parenting styles have also been found to cause more unwanted behavior in children. 

If you feel your child is not acting as they used to or you're concerned with their behavior, a family therapist can help. Many marriage and family therapists are trained in child psychology and understand how to help parents navigate childhood challenges. In addition, family therapy has been shown to be effective in treating behavioral issues in general. The therapy's success rate is often improved when all family work together. Children that feel they're a "burden" or the cause of their parent's challenges may feel shame and struggle to move forward. 

Compassion towards your child from all parties involved can be an ingredient for success. You can also include your child's siblings in family therapy if the individual's behavior also impacts them. The therapist may have tools you don't have to explain specific occurrences to a child in a way that makes sense to them and is based on years of psychological research. 

A traumatic event 

Family therapy may offer support if you or your children have lost a loved one or experienced another traumatic event. Being able to talk about the event together as a group can offer a sense of solidarity and being loved through a challenging time. For many, a support system is a significant aspect of recovering from these types of events. 

Grief and the impacts of trauma can make individuals want to withdraw from those they love. A family therapist can help each family understand the importance of staying together during challenging moments. You can also complete exercises designed to encourage bonding and attachment. 

Traumatic events can cause each family to react differently. How the symptoms, emotions, or behaviors after an event are handled can make a difference. A family therapist can help you to navigate the future, set goals, and understand why you feel how you feel. They can offer child-friendly education about how trauma works in the body and how to self-control. 

A major life change

Significant changes, even those considered positive, can create tension within your family. Family therapy may be beneficial if you notice anything awry following a major event. For example, you might notice you're experiencing more stress, feeling burned out, or struggling to care for yourself and your children. These can all be valid reasons to seek support. 

Children are often resilient and may react differently to life changes than adults. However, changes can still profoundly impact their lives. For example, moving to a new city, state, or country can cause children to lose their friends, their familiarity, and the home they're used to. These transitions can be challenging if they haven't moved before or if you move often. 

Even if you haven't noticed a shift in behavior in your children, you might consider searching for a family therapist. Your child may have questions and feel emotions that they don't know how to express verbally. A family therapist can help uncover and address those concerns before they create a problem. In this way, family therapy can be proactive. 

Reaching out for support after a major life transition can also show your child you support them and care about their feelings. In the future, when they experience a transition, they might feel safer coming to you for advice. Trust can be an essential element of a family dynamic. 

Blending families

Marriage and family therapy may prove valuable if you have chosen to bring a new partner or children into your family. Blending two families can be challenging, and many emotions may occur on both sides. Children may struggle to integrate with new siblings or understand why a new adult is in their life. 

You may be feeling excited to begin a new life with your partner. On the other hand, you might also be nervous about introducing a new family to your home. It can be expected for children to feel resentment or anger about a parent's new partner if their other parent has recently passed or is no longer in the picture. The child might refuse to listen to their rules or try to "act out" in some way. A therapist can help the parent, child, and new partner come to an agreement that feels safe for everyone. 

You might consider therapy even if you know your children get along well with new family. Coming up with rules for your new dynamic or discussing future decisions can be beneficial to prepare children for what might be next. In addition, ensuring everyone has their expectations outlined from the beginning can reduce any surprises in the future. 

Counseling options 

If you've decided to see a family therapist, many options are available. Family counseling can be done online or in person, and many couples and families opt for online options due to their busy schedules. Online therapy can be more convenient, cost-effective, and available for those facing barriers. 

Internet counseling, including internet family counseling, has been shown to be as effective as traditional in-person counseling. When looking for family therapy, look for a platform or one-on-one practice online therapist who offers complete family services over the internet. If you're not looking for family sessions yet and are interested in individual or couples therapy online, you can also sign up for online therapy platforms like BetterHelp for individuals or Regain for couples. 

Both platforms offer individuals and couples thousands of licensed family therapists and a matching process that can allow them to find a mental health professional who meets their needs within 48 hours of signing up. You can meet with various specialties and connect with someone with experience addressing your challenges.